Friday, 15 May 2015 18:44

1969- Teen Angst Poems

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Remembering 

 

Oh tell me

how you forget

a wedding in spring,

rose colored lips or a beautiful thing?

How do you forget

a sun shiny day

when that time 

wasn’t too far away,

when you would both

walk down that aisle

both almost too frightened to smile?

 

But smile you did

and no love there was hidden

from the world.

You both said then that you would never part

but time brought a broken heart.

The love there died

and many times you cried

“It’s over!”

 

Mable the Dyke

 

Do you hate yourself

for what you’ve become

do you think you

are the only one

to ever have thought

those thoughts before?

And you won’t tomorrow.

But yesterday has past

and today won’t last,

very long.

And we’ll see the wrong

we did

in

lying.

Nobody’s crying now,

‘cause nobody knows

except the lie

of asking “why?” and

“What’s the matter?”

Kid psychoanalyst,

he’s really kind of funny.

He’ll say “wow,”

and then he’ll take your money.

IF you got none

it’s been fun

but your a drag

‘cause he’s a fag

with anxieties.

I don’t care

play the game

be the same

and lie.

He did.

And YOU fell for it!

That’s funny.

Don’t know what’s wrong.

It’s getting long…

and late…

and the only fake is you.

Do you wanna talk or 

just say petty words

that are meaningless?

Your games a bore 

Heard it all before.

 

Wishen

 

Bowlegged octopi

crawling up my leg

begin for a piece of,

I’m not sure what.

 

What’s your name?

 

I know I would like to shake your hand;

touch your hair,

kiss you

If it would be good.

 

Have you ever slept with three or 

four… other people… and loved them all?

 

I haven’t.

 

Separating Powers

 

I’m writing this little note for you.

Will you read it soon?

I doubt it.

 

Look,

outside,

it’s raining.

 

Isn’t it beautiful?

 

Some of us say what we feel.

Some of us write what we fell.

Some of us fear to feel

what’s there.

 

If I liked you,

if I loved you

could I feel you?

 

Fear

 

uh, well sir,

I feel that…

 

your lonely?

 

I do not know you.

 

Yes miss?

Ya wanna…

ya wanna get it on

separately.

compete.

come together?

I do not know you,

 

orgasm. 

 

 

Revealing Thyself

 

Take the wrappings off child.

Open you presents child.

Let it be

and see me.

 

Take off the tight white.

Let in the light.

It’s night.

It’s night.

 

Oh give thyself

and I’ll give me.

Everyone,

everyone should see.

 

So take off the mask

and put it down

and ask-

make the sound.

 

Communicate.

 

Empty Trip

 

Is this trip

around

called “loneliness,”

the word that man

thought adequate

for a felling

which is no feeling at all.

Pure emptiness

or maybe less.

The world has died

and you’ve crie

all the tears

it’s worth

and you search

for something

to believe in. 

 

Party friend-

ships

sail away.

I hear some lines

go on rainy days.

Go ahead

and stay

stay…

stay,

away.

 

Your Own Ego Trip

 

Wandering through a wonderland of maze

a misinterpretation

of the phase

to naked

and nakedness is whereI come from

not knowing where I’m going

and many thought they knew

but even I don’t know. 

and my mind is mean and low

but I don”t care

and maybe you have seen it,

but then you haven’t felt it,

and again you have to be it,

to trip it.

Yes…

Take me crystalline ships of

fog and grey,

take me crystal ships far away.

You know where your going to;

where have I been?

Been no where and

everywhere.

It’s just an illusion anyway.

There ain’t no way

to know.

Psychedelic children been to no where yet

and think that I have yet to be there.

Who cares.

I don’t. 

 

Misunderstanding

 

Are you misunderstanding

all that you see

and most of all

misunderstanding me?

You think that you don’t

I say that you do

Am I misunderstanding you?

Have you felt so lonely

so much that your dead

and you come alive

from a single word that’s said

and you think only instead

of your boundaries…

your conditioning and life.

In your back the knife

of loves lost freedom.

 

Hell… misunderstand

take your hand away.

Hope one day

to see her.

Until then, what’s to be done

for you are only one

without another.

wait.

and hesitate

go on debate

love and hate

and soon it’s late again. 

 

 

An Old Hard Women Walkin Down a Lane

 

She walks with grace

over a golden path

in a dress of lace

hiding pain.

 

Happiness surrounds her

roses in full bloom

Light of good shines

from the sun.

 

Loved by all

and it doesn’t matter

she loves all

and to know her

makes

no

difference.

 

 

No Title

 

My mother was a prostitute

my father was a drunk.

Sister was a Catholic nun,

my brother, a Buddhist monk.

I’m just no one,

nobody cares.

I’m just someone,

anyone who’s there.

I’m just standing,

standing on my feet,

I’m just speaking

the the minds I meet. 

It’s a strange type of language,

I do not understand.

It’s a melody

from a blue green yellow land. 

 

Where?

 

Let’s go down

to the place to be.

I’ve been told

that the places free.

It’s you

it’s me.

I’ll take you there now.

I’ll take you.

See now

it’s alright,

The suns going down.

Lies are gone,

the honest night.

Let’s go down

down

let’s go down

and we’ll be.

 

Let’s go down to the place

and you know

it’s only our mind

your mind.

Let’s go down.

We’ll find,

how it is. 

 

The End

 

On and on and on

repeat

on and on and on.

empty feeling.

I really don’t feel like it.

I really don’t feel like anything.

misunderstandings.

I don’t care if you do

on and on and on

repeat

I’m dead.

Ignore me

and I’ll dig it.

I can’t converse

or comprehend.

I’m dead.

I’m dead.

on and on and on.

stupor.

drink or whatever

on and on

life is gone

I’m dead.

 

end.

 

 

Sitten in the Shade

 

I’m sitten in the shade

of the cool

of the winter,

listening to jazz radio

playing softly

and thinking about the fun we had

in the sun of the summer-

Remember the one

that we meant each other-

you and me lovers.

Now we’re just brothers.

Thank you for the time.

If I had my druthers

we would do it all again.

But then I know.

It’s all over.

and over and over…

 

No matter what I play 

on the phonograph

there’s always silence in-between. 

The silence doesn’t really bother me.

you know what I mean?

 

 

but baby, you been gone so long. 

 

No Title

 

fighting sanity for my life

a match is struck for the night.

all is dying

all is dying

are you crying too?

gentle waves of the past

a past to present beauty.

I am dying

come lie beside me.

inescapable thoughts of

where do I go from here?

wife out the fear

wipe out the fear.

take my hand now

and undersand me.

we shall meet one day

you and I

we shall meet

 

and we shall try. 

 

Suicidal Society

 

Suicidal society

what are you trying to do to me?

slit my wrists

smash my brain

don’t you know I’m goin insane?

 

Nothing to look forward to

tear my umbilical cord from you.

cut me up

step on my face

help me get out of this miserable place.

 

Can’t run and can’t hide

can’t say I’ve ever tried

slash my veins

take some pills

 

take anything that kills.

 

Come

 

Come all

be all

see all

there is to see

and be.

the eternity.

 

Chorus:

Your there!

Your there!

You wanna do it?

can you see it?

And when they ask who

I’ll be there too.

 

Your one

I’m one

they’re one

and one is all we’ll be.

and see

we’ll be infinity.

 

together we’ll gather

and your not alone

 

Chorus:

I’ll be there

see there

be where

and when they ask who

 

I’ll be there too. 

 

Again

 

Oh my God

I’ve felt this way before

and it leads nowhere

and how do you bear 

such a thing alone?

How can I tell

what others think or feel

when nothing seems real

at all?

leave me behind

although I mind that too

it’s not so bad a pain

as when you 

act like it don’t matter

that I’m there

when I am.

is that just an illusion

adding confusion 

 

within me?

 

Advertisement for the O.K. Cafe Chain

 

Writing words of coffee stined thoughts

now sit ten at the local handout

thinking ‘bout the freaks

down on skid row

not really thinkin at all.

Making movies of innocent rainbows,

raining dreams of silver gold.

glittering love.

How do you love a bum

who’s screaming Mary’s 

screaming how YOU failed?

For a coffee dime

he’ll buy some wine

and tell you what he tells.

the continuing movie dream

isn’t really what it seems to anyone.

silver gold shimmering.

blue skye shimmering rainbow light

by the neon nights of forever land.

 

“Hey mister…

hey sir…

would you have a dime?”

 

“The time’s too late,” you answer

thoughtlessly.

 

Aimlessly you wander

Aimlessly they go.

ain’t nothin hapnin

nowhere’s near

the place the call

 

skid row.

Read 7268 times Last modified on Friday, 15 May 2015 19:25

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Women in Oils- Click for story
1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
Amber- Click to read story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Where I was born- Click for story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
Me in first grade- Click for story.
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
Grandview- Click for story
Palouse- Click for story
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
Earthquake! Click to read story.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
Click to read "Introduction."
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.

Article

01. Introduction

03- Dads Family

03- Photos of my Father and his family

04- My Mother's Family

04- Photos of my Mom

04- Video of my Mom

04- Walling Family Reunions

04-Audio Files of My Mom

04. Billie

04. Ole

04.1. Forbidden Dreams of Love

04.2. Flames of Forbidden Love

04.3 Mom Writing Her Life Story

05- Jim Tarbert

05. Roger

1950's Grandview to Toppenish

1957-1958 1st Grade

1958-1959- Third Grade

1959- Palouse

1961- 4th Grade- Last time I wore a dress

1962- Abilene

1963- Escondido- Early 60's

1964- Darlene Marries Chuck

1964- My Beatle Haircut

1964-The Luv Please

1965 or 1966- Steve Castle

1965- In Foster Care

1966 Living with Darlene & Chuck in Seattle

1967- Juvenile Hall

1976- I Praise Thee (poem to Stanley)

1976- My Second Lover, Stanley Dunne

1976- Paul McCartney and Wings

1976-1330 Bush Street #9J

1977- 1667 Haight Street

1977- Trip to San Diego with Mary Jo

1977-1980- Tumultuous Relationship with John Perry

1978- 525 Haight Street

1979- September- Dad is Murdered

1980's- AIDS- Death and Dying

1980- Winter- First Trip to New York

1980- Word, Sound and Power

1981- Milton- Falling in Love

1982-1993 465 Waller Street

1982-1994 Computers to MacNursing

1984- 33rd Birthday

1985- Graduation from Nursing School

1985- Trip to Hawaii (Oahu)

1988- MIdnight Caller

1989- Earthquake!

1991- Aug 10th- Mom Passes Away

1991- Black Males in Oils

1991- Crack of My Life

1993- Move to Vallejo & Our First Home

1995-1. Road Trip to Washington

1995-2. Surprise Trip to Vegas

1995-3. Grandmother Rogers & Aunts Visit Darlene's

1995-4. Amber

1998- Camping at Russian River

2000 -Thoughts about Progressive Christians

2000- Resignation from John George

2001- April- Trip to Cancun

2001- Peace and Justice

2001- September 11th

2002- April-Puerto Vallarta & Blue Bay Getaway

2002- Nov 12th- My Stepfather, George McHenry Passes Away

2003- Trip to D.C. and N.Y.

2004- Feb- Road Trip to Baha Mexico

2004- Walling Family Reunion in Spokane

2005- Christmas Poem

2005- Darlene Visit for Pride Celebration

2005- Trip to Orlando

2005-1. Europe- London

2005-2. Europe- Paris

2005-3. Europe- Venice

2005-4. Europe- Florence

2005-5. Europe- Rome

2005-6. Europe- Athens

2005-7. Knee Surgery & Tongue Biopsy

2006 Christmas Poem

2006- February 23- Times Herald

2006- Palm Springs White Party

2006- Trip to Seattle

2006-July 8th Solano Peace and Justice Coalition BBQ

2007- Feb- Carnival Destiny- Our First Cruise

2007- Tre and Casey Visit

2008- Aug 15-18 Spokane Visit

2008- Psycho Song

2009- Honored by Vallejo Gay Network

2009- Women in Oils

2010 Christmas Poem

2010- Feb. R.C. Mariner of the Seas Mexican Riviera Cruise

2010- June 24- Badlands

2010- Trip to Seattle

2010-1. Europe- Amsterdam

2010-2. Europe- Paris

2010-3. Europe- Barcelona & Sitges

2010-4. Europe- Madrid

2011-1. Feb. My Fabulous 60th Birthday Weekend

2011-2. April- L.A., Palm Springs & "The White Party"

2011-3. Poem- Girl From Medical Lake

2011-4. Old Man Dancing

2011-5. May- Misty and Alex Visit

2011-6. August- Darlene and Sean's Visit

2011-7. Alex 16-18 & Pics

2012- March- Carnival Splendor Mexican Riviera with Family

2013- Wedding

2014- Christmas Poem

2014- First Gay Cruise

2014- September Road Trip to San Diego

2015- Seasonal Affective Blues

2015- Second Gay Cruise

2015- War on Christmas poem

2015-"Badlands" and Gay Bar Etiquette

2015-September 8. Political History

2016 Do Not Speak for Gay Males

2016- April- Palm Springs RV Adventure

4/4/2016- Not Going Along to Get Along

9/4/15- Liberals vs Conservatives

Where I was born- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
Me in first grade- Click for story.
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
Click to read "Introduction."
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
Palouse- Click for story
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Amber- Click to read story.
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
Women in Oils- Click for story
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
Earthquake! Click to read story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
Grandview- Click for story