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Thursday, 19 November 2015 18:26

2015- Seasonal Affective Blues

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When I was younger, I would occasionally have bouts of depression. Depression seems to run in my family as I know my Mother and siblings have battled with it. I got a lot out of "self-help" books like Wayne Dyer's "Your Erroneous Zones" and more recently, Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now." I had a great therapist, Jim Weber, back in the late twenties and early thirties. Getting older and just developing more self confidence with age was very helpful, too. 

As I got into my middle thirties, I began to see a pattern to my bouts of depression. I noticed that they were almost always in the winter after we had gone off of Daylight Savings Time. As the day's would get shorter and shorter, my mood would get more depressed. This was a revelation for me as I could start predicting when I would feel most desperate. Milton and started taking vacations to sunnier locations in the middle of winter, around February or March. I was pleased to discover that those vacations really made a big difference! If I could just go somewhere for a week and get some sun, I felt better and got through the winters much more easily. 

In the last few years, I have also used a "Sunlight 365" light intermittently. It seems to help, although that could be a placebo effect I suppose. 

In the last couple of years, my Seasonal Affective Disorder didn't bother me much, thanks to the California drought and a couple great vacations to Florida and the Caribbean! This year, for whatever reason, it seems to be back, though. I have got out my Sunlight 365 and started using it again. We are planning a trip mid-winter to Palm Springs for some sun. 

Those that have been reading my stories on here, know already that I write poetry from time to time. Last night I wrote this poem I call "Seasonal Affective Blues."

 

Seasonal Affective Blues

 
Landslide,
of darkness
burying me,

The days are short-
not as short, 
as they're going to be.

Axions and dendrites 
can't transmit electricity.
It's all gummed up,
like it will ALWAYS be!

Buried six feet under
Or is it just the night?
I'm being smothered
can't  see the light.

Where'd all 
my dopamine go?
And my serotonin 
feels way too low!!

Oh my God, 
It's only November!
When does daylight savings start?
I can't remember!!

My minds too fogged up,
slow and dull.
If I try to move
I hit a wall.

I keep trying to put one foot
in front of the other.
Tried taking a nap
and then another and another!

But sleep don't come,
I'm just too agitated,
And then tired all day
and always aggravated.

In my nerve endings
There is a riot
And there is just no way
To stick to my diet!

EVERYTHING is just so much 
harder to do,
when you got 
seasonal affective blues!

Let me just pull
the blankets up over my head,
Please wake me up
when your sure I'm dead!
Read 6249 times Last modified on Saturday, 26 December 2015 17:43