Teens (21)

Friday, 13 March 2015 09:22

1968 Seattle with Mary Jo

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I was about 17 and I think that 1968 might have been the year that Marnie drove me and four other people from San Diego, up to Washington to see Roger. I think he was living with my dad and maybe going to school in Toppenish or working for my dad. I don't think any of us gave much thought to where we would stay when we got there and it turned out my dad was not gong to allow all six of us to stay at his house. Dan was still a good friend at the time and his mother was very easy going and welcomed all of us to his house where there were already about eight of her 13 children still living at home. I think Mary followed us up a short time later. Again, my memory fails me but somewhere along the line, Mary and I ended up living in Seattle with a guy named "Mouse" and some other people. 

Mary had always had a job since I had known her. She had worked as a telephone operator in San Diego and quickly got a job in Seattle. I sold an underground newspaper called "The Helix" down at the City Center where the World's Fair had been a few years earlier. Mary and I were good friends but there was often an underlying sexual energy coming from her direction. Although I really hadn't acknowledged to myself that I was gay at that time, I knew I was not comfortable with Mary's sexual energy.

We shared a large house with several other guys. Somebody had met, "Mouse," in Yakima if I remember correctly. He lived in this house in Seattle and must have offered us a place to crash or something. I remember when we first went there, everybody was inhaling some kind of stuff that freezes glasses. We were told it could freeze your lungs and so they would spray it into a plastic bread bag and then you would inhale it from there. It seemed like a lot of risk for about thirty seconds of dizziness and hallucinations.  

The house had a small sunroom which was where Mary slept and then there was a parlor area which was like our own living room and I think I either slept on the couch or maybe I had a mattress on the floor. My main possession at the time was a Royal typewriter my mother had given me and which was my most prized possession. I wanted to be a writer and I had fantasies of opening a beatnik type coffee house someday where I could produce my experimental plays. It was during this time that I first became aware of Andy Warhol when we went to see "Chelsea Girls." That was a big influence on me. 

On December 27th, 1968, Vanilla Fudge was going to have a concert. We were both big fans of Vanilla Fudge and wrestled up the funds to get tickets. An unknown band called Led Zeppelin was going to open for them. We were excited about the concert and were out of the house earlier that day visiting someone. We had psychedelics at home that we planned to take before the concert. Mary had a little MG ragtop and when we drove up to the house, there were police everywhere. The house was being busted. We saw our room mates being taken off in handcuffs. We didn't stop. We went back to where we had been earlier and essentially hid out. We had to get a hotel room for a few nights. We never went back to the house where we had been living. It was in the hotel where Mary and I had our first awkward sexual experience together. Maybe exasperating would be a better word than awkward. Regardless, it was not as easy to have sex with a woman as it was with a man. I was 17 or 18 and essentially still a virgin when it came to intercourse with a woman. It just didn't seem to be something I was very comfortable with. 

When going through old papers, I came across a little description of the rundown Seattle hotel in which I stayed with Mary where I had my first harried premature orgasm with a woman:

Hotel Room for $19.95 a Week

Looking back through brown stained curtains.
One curtain rod.
Brown stains on white lace.
A shade.
Usual color. 
To shut out the sun.
Torn curtain sharing rod.
Two windows.
The brown stained white lace curtains.
The torn curtains. 
Shadows… of better days. 
One leather upholstered rocking chair
that's rocked an eternity's worth of people.
A bed. 
A desk. The usual Bible that no one reads..
A lamp. 
A chair, and one for the desk.
Cigarette burned carpet.
An old chest of drawers with a mirror,
which has been many people. 
Small room.
Wallpaper blooms,
with pink and faded white flowers.
Did a grandmother do this?


Friday, 13 March 2015 06:58

1969- Pot bust- Getting Arrested

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San Diego’s downtown was pretty seedy in 1967-1968. There was a little plaza on Broadway, the main thoroughfare of downtown San Diego, Behind this plaza were multiple, twenty-four hour adult movie theaters and arcades where the sailors on shore leave could hang out. I met some interesting people in that plaza. I remember one guy that had this huge growth on his neck. I have no idea what it was but when I say huge, I mean that it was hanging down from the back of his neck for about ten inches. A ten inch sebateous cyst? Who knows? He never said what it was and I never asked. 

I know that I was in my mom and George's house on Lantana when I contacted the Oracle offices in San Francisco and convinced them to send me some Oracles to San Diego. I don't think they even required that I send them money in advance. There was a level of trust in the hippie community and I think they just trusted me to pay for them after I had sold them. 

One night, 7/21/1969 to be exact, while I was selling the Oracle, a couple of sailors came over and struck up a conversation. One of them wanted to buy a “lid” or small baggy of marijuana from the other one but the one that wanted to buy it said that he wasn’t sure what marijuana looked like and he appealed to my vanity and said that he thought I would know if it was “good stuff.” Well whether or not I really would know one way or the other, I liked the fact that he thought I would know, so I agreed to go with them while they made their deal.

We crossed the plaza, away from Broadway and toward a side street. As we crossed in the crosswalk another man of about the same age as the sailor, nodded to one of the two I was with. The three of us walked into a hotel lobby about a block away from the plaza and proceeded to walk to the men’s bathroom off the lobby. When the three of us got inside the small bathroom, the guy that was selling the pot took it out of his pocket in a sandwich baggy and gave it to me to look at. In those days, that amount of marijuana was called a "lid," which is approximately one ounce. That could go for about ten bucks. 

I went into one of the stalls. Outside the stall I could hear someone else coming into the bathroom. I started to open the stall door and saw someone wearing a suit, addressing one of the sailors. I put the pot into my right coat pocket and came out of the stall. I probably should have just flushed it but that didn’t even occur to me since the weed was not mine.

I came out of the stall and was confronted with an “undercover” policeman. In the bathroom, he checked several of my pockets, but for some reason, overlooked the right coat pocket where I had put the bag of pot. There were two police officers and it seems like one of the sailors had disappeared and my conclusion was that he was also an undercover officer and that this was an attempt at entrapment. One of the officers suggested we leave the hotel and continue our conversation out on the street. The sailer and the two officers exited the bathroom and luckily they all walked out ahead of me!!! As I exited the bathroom, I reached into my coat pocket and quickly grabbed the baggy and dropped it as I went through the door, leaving it on the floor in the bathroom. When we got outside, the officers searched me again and seemed perplexed that they did not find anything and they had to release me.

I walked back over to Broadway where I had been selling papers but I just wanted to get out of there and started heading toward home but as I was leaving the plaza, a police car pulled up and the officers got out and told me I was under arrest. Apparently they had gone back into the bathroom and had found the marijuana on the floor and thought that maybe they could still make a case.

I got to make my phone call and I called my mom and later, I learned that she had called my uncle Pete and he recommended a lawyer in San Diego or recommended that my mom get me a lawyer. The lawyer came in the early morning hours and I told him what had happened. I was pretty frightened but was pretty sure that there was no real case against me and by morning I was released and was told that this "arrest" would be removed from my record. 

I had been in juvenile hall a couple of times previously in San Diego. Once for curfew and once for hitchhiking on a freeway on-ramp. I had been in a jail in Moscow, Idaho, when I was thirteen or so, when my cousin Mary Griffin and I hitchhiked from Palouse to Moscow and the police picked us up. I don't think they had a juvenile hall in Moscow so they just put us in jail. So this was actually my second time "behind bars." The first time in Moscow, it had almost been fun because I was there with Mary and we were singing Sonny and Cher songs. There was no singing in San Diego's jail. It seems like I might have had a black cellmate but I am not really sure now. If I did, I don't remember any conversation but I was just there in the night until after breakfast which consisted of some Elmer's glue like oatmeal mush.

My biggest problem at that time in my life would have been having to pee. There is no way that I would have felt comfortable urinating in a jail cell. I would probably hold my urine until my bladder would burst and I would just die on the floor. 


 1967- Sweet Sixteen, The Summer of Love and Psychedelics

meatabout16Me at about 16I love the San Francisco Bay Area. I came here for the first time when I was 16. I was living in San Diego at the time with my Mom and my stepfather, George. We were living at 4932 Lantana Drive in a fixer-upper home my Mom and George had bought. My bed was in the basement of the house which had it’s own entry door, which gave me the ability to come and go pretty easily as I pleased. George was building stairs from the basement up into the kitchen upstairs but at that time, you had to go outside to get upstairs. 

My best friends at the time were Mary Jo, Leslie, and Marnie. We had become friends after Roger and I and our group, "The Luv Please" had played at a "Battle of The Bands" in San Diego. We went to a club called the Palace and we were experimenting with drugs.


I was in transition between an old girlfriend, Kathy, that was concerned about what L.S.D. would do to my chromosomes and my new girlfriend, Edith, who couldn't have cared less about my chromosomes.

Much of our lives at that time revolved around music. The "British Invasion" had occurred just three years earlier when the Beatles had done three shows on The Ed Sullivan show. That changed everything pertaining to rock music. In 1967, the Beatles had "Penny Lane," "All You Need is Love," and "Hello Goodbye" in the top 100. The Rolling Stones released "Ruby Tuesday" that year. In 1967, the contrived American television group, The Monkees did well with "I'm a Believer," "Pleasant Valley Sunday," "A Little Bit Me, a Little Bit You," and "Daydream Believer." Scott McKenzie had a hit with "San Francisco, Be Sure to Wear a Flower in Your Hair." Many of us wanted to be in San Francisco with a flower in our hair. The Supremes had a couple of hits that year with "Love is Here and Now Your Gone," "The Happening," and "Reflections." 

For me, that year, the release of Jefferson Airplanes,"White Rabbit" with it's obvious psychedelic drug references was significant. 


Probably the most significant music event during the "Summer of Love," was when a new guy on the music scene, or new to me anyway, Jimi Hendrix, released his debut album, "Are You Experienced" which contained, "Purple Haze." "White Rabbit" and "Purple Haze" were like commercials for taking L.S.D. We really were going through a cultural revolution.
are you experienced

Kathy Zaddock and I went together for about three years, from the time I was 13 in Escondido and had gotten kicked out of school for having “long hair” (that story can be found here: (http://sylvanslife.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=16:my-beatle-haircut). I met Kathy roller skating which I did pretty regularly at that time. She and her best friend, Karen Kern, used to come roller skating and I guess they thought I was cute in my Beatle haircut. Kathy was the more attractive in my mind. We went together for three y)ears and we did have some sexual play during that time. I guess you would call what we did, “heavy petting?” kathyzaddock

My mother and her husband, George, had left Escondido, though, by the time I was 16 in 1967, The Summer of Love. I had lived in Washington State for a while with my dad. Upon my return to live with my Mom and George, now on Lantana Drive in San Diego, Kathy had started to move on to the man that she would eventually marry and have four children with, and then ultimately divorce some years later. When I first heard of her engagement, I grieved the loss of my first real heterosexual relationship. I was inconsolable for a about a day which seemed like a lot in those teenage days. 

Edith would be my second heterosexual relationship. It was very brief- so brief that I don't even remember Edith's last name! I think I must have met her at Jerry Herrera's club, "The Palace," a club for kids 16 and older. 

Jerry Herrera had been booking bands in San Diego since the 1950's for dances and concerts. In 1965 he had opened San Diego's first rock and roll club, "The Palace," across the street from the San Diego Sports Arena. The house band was called "Palace Pages" and they would go on to become "iron Butterfly." 

My brother, Roger, and his band with Allen Green, Roger Flores, Steve Arenz(?), and others, whose names I don't remember, would play at the Palace. We all went to see them play of course. There was a stage and dance floor. If I remember correctly, there was a balcony area where you could look down at the dance floor. It seemed to get a pretty good crowd. Leslie & Marnie were always there when I was there. Edith and I would dance.

The Palace was where I first remember seeing black light posters for sale. They had a small psychedelic shop that sold the posters and black lights. along with cigarette papers, pipes, roach clips, peace buttons and other hippie paraphernalia. 

I don't remember what time The Palace would close. I can't remember if they even served alcohol. I'm not sure if it was actually considered a bar. I was only 16 then and certainly couldn't drink alcohol. Regardless, one night after the Palace, a group of us went to Mission Beach and I’m not sure but that might have been the first night that I dropped acid which was what people called L.S.D. back then which was short for lysergic acid diethylamide. 

Timothy Leary and the media had made L.S.D. famous. Dr. Timothy Leary, a professor at Harvard had established the "Psychedelic Research Project" at Harvard in 1960. The Federal Government had classified L.S.D. as an "experimental drug" in 1962. The media talked of L.S.D. on sugar cubes. There were sensational stories of kids taking L.S.D. and thinking they could fly and then jumping out of windows.Leary and Alpert were fired from Harvard in 1963 because of their advocating the use of psychedelics to "expand the mind." California passed the Grunsky Bill in 1966, making the drug illegal in California.  learygraphic from internetIn 1967, at the first "Human Be-in," Timothy Leary told the crowd to "tune in, turn on, and drop out," which the media spread immediately to the rest of the country and young people were listening. When you took L.S.D., it was called at "trip."

Ken Kesey had been doing the "Acid Tests" for a few years by 1967 with his "Merry Pranksters." On January 8th, 1966, the "Trips Festival" had taken place at the Fillmore. By the time I had arrived in San Francisco for The Summer of Love, Stanley Owsley had been perfecting his famous L.S.D. and the Fillmore had become a "trips festival" on an ongoing basis. I know I attended at least a couple of Fillmore shows that summer but remember very little about those shows as I was usually tripping.

Cream Concert I Went To


I would eventually take over a hundred trips between the time I was 16 and my early twenties. I never had any desire to jump out of any windows and came to believe that most of the horror stories about L.S.D. were probably urban myths. In later adulthood, I did see schizophrenics when I worked as an R.N. on psychiatric units that may have had psychosis brought on or exacerbated their mental illness by taking too many L.S.D. trips or other drugs. 

I remember laughing a lot when I first started taking acid. It was necessary to set aside about eight hours for a "trip." First, there was the "coming on" phase which usually took about an hour, then the "peaking" phase which took about six hours and then the "coming down" phase which took another hour or two. Most of my experience with L.S.D. was much fun but eventually it became too exhausting. It was easier to find a block of eight hours in my youth for those activities than it was when I got older and busy with the activities of making a living. 


Light show from edited footage from internet


I know I was on acid the night I went to San Francisco the first time. I was with Edith at the Palace and then we went to a "beach party" at Mission Beach in San Diego. That night, she and her brother were going to “run away” from home and they had talked this guy, E.J., into driving them to San Francisco in his station wagon. Edith wanted me to go too and it sounded like an "adventure" to me. It was 1967 and the Summer of Love and everyone was going to San Francisco. We had recently seen Big Brother and the Holding Company at the San Diego Convention Center and were in the first row and Janis Joplin invited everyone to San Francisco to see what was happening there.

That night, after The Palace and then after the beach party, five of us piled into E.J.'s old station wagon. EJ drove me by my house so I could get my sleeping bag and leave my Mom a note telling her I was going to San Francisco. It didn’t occur to me that she would worry or be upset or anything. I didn’t perceive it at all as running away. I just saw this as an adventure, kind of like a Tom Sawyer sort of thing. I think my Mom kind of admired my independence.

We probably left San Diego about 3am in the morning. There was EJ driving, Edith, her brother, some other person I remember nothing about and myself. Somewhere along the way, we picked up a hitchhiker and he was familiar with San Francisco and he wrote down an address for us to check out. He thought that we could probably “crash” there. I don’t really remember much else about the trip itself. I know the hitchhiker didn’t go all the way with us but have not idea where we let him out. When we arrived in San Francisco, we parked along side, what I would later learn was called “The Panhandle.” This is a finger of Golden Gate Park that extends into the Haight for several blocks bordered by Fell and Oak streets.

haightashburyAt some point, a policeman came and told us that we couldn’t sleep there in the car. We woke up and got out and walked a block over to Page street and found the address that the hitchhiker had given us. It was a beautiful building with bay windows and a turret at 1666 Page Street. I was struck even then with the difference in architecture in San Francisco from anywhere I had ever been previously in my life.

When we first knocked and a hippie girl answered the door and we told her our plight, she seemed irritated that we had awakened her so early in the morning. The "flat" was on the third floor and one of the guys living there came down the stairs to see what was going on. I 

1666pageremember them being a little irritated that somebody had given out their address but eventually they accepted us in. There were already about five people living in the house. Edith and I slept on the floor in our sleeping bags. I stayed there for only a week or two. I think E.J. returned to San Diego. Edith made plans to hitchhike to New York after the first few days and she left and I never saw or heard from her again. I will always wonder if she made it safely. Her brother and I hung out for a bit but he was into speed and always seemed kind of weird to me.

A couple of the people that lived in the flat were black and a few years older than us. They were probably in their twenties or even thirties. One had a bit of asthma or emphysema which was exacerbated by all the pot he smoked and he seemed quite a bit older than us at the time. People came and went through the flat. I met my first “out” black homosexual. He gave me a blow job in the throughway between a couple of buildings. The whole thing didn’t last very long but it was exciting and I still remember that. I think that it must have been my first blow job. I had never had int

ercourse with a girl at this point. I had masturbated with other boys, but otherwise, I was a virgin. 

Although our hosts were generous initially, they did want us to get out on our own. I panhandled during the day. I went to Love’s Burgers and got a plate and plastic fork and then would take it

down to the panhandle where the Diggers were 

feeding people. I stayed at various crash pads. 

I went to the Straight Theater, (which was originally called "The Haight" theater but in 1967, in disrepair, was called the Straight Theater and was torn down in the 70's

or 80's). There were no seats in the theater by that time and Big Brother and the Holding Company with Janis Joplin would practice there and you could see them for free or spare change.

One day while walking down Haight street, at about Clayton, I saw Janis Joplin walking a dog, towards me. I thought to myself, “I have got to say something to her… what can I say… fast… the opportunity will soon be gone…” and I blathered “Spare change?” She walked on past and didn’t even give me eye contact but that was okay. I had spoken to Janis Joplin.

Janis Joplin seated 1970

I would hang out on “hippie hill” which was about a block into Golden Gate Park. There were usually somewhere around fifty people sitting on the hill. Often there would be a group of multicultural/multiethnic/multiracial drummers making a beat for us to groove to. Usually there would be the smell of marijuana in the air. In the summer of love, there always seemed to be a lot of marijuana around. I didn’t have money to buy it but somebody was always handing me a joint.

diggersfreefoodpanhandle1967graphic found on internetThe Diggers were a group of activists and actors associated with The San Francisco Mime Troupe. Peter Coyote, an actor, was one of the founding members of The Diggers. When I arrived in San Francisco, they were providing free food in the Panhandle. The food would usually be a soupy stew concoction served out of huge multi-gallon pots.  It was well known that you could pick up a paper plate and fork or spoon at Love Burgers at 1568 Haight and then bring those to The Panhandle to eat. The Diggers also opened a free store at 1090 Cole Street. loveburger

Speed was becoming popular in the Haight by that time and people were using it at 1666 Page Street too. There were also warnings out on the street that "Speed Kills." I had never known anyone that injected drugs until then. I'm not sure if that was the same as the methamphetamine of modern times or if it was some earlier variation of that. I remember a women coming to the flat to shoot up, herself. Up until that time, I had not seen anyone use I.V. drugs on Page Street or anywhere for that matter. I watched her carefully cook the white powder in a tablespoon and then use a belt to "tie off" her arm. Then she drew up the drug through a white cotton ball. She shared here "works," the syringe and needle with one of the housemates. This was long before HIV and Aids.

She was ecstatic and wanted others to share the experience but I was afraid of needles and didn't really want to do it. She kept encouraging me to try it and insisted it wouldn't hurt at all. Finally I relented and let her use a belt to "tie me off" and then inject the needle into my vein. I immediately regretted it, as she apparently missed the vein and it WAS quite painful.

For the rest of the night, I was speeding and paced through the Haight until the early morning hours. I remember the air being wet as it sometimes is in San Francisco and the only other people awake are also wired on speed and will babble about nothing for hours if you will listen. I tried not to listen. I didn't see the girl that shot me up for another week or so when I passed her on the street and she told me that I needed to go to the public health clinic to get tested as she had tested positive for hepatitis. I went to the health clinic and got some gamoglobulin and decided that my one episode of letting someone inject drugs into my veins was way too too dangerous and too much hassle and I didn't really like being so wired up, awake all night on the streets, gnawing the inside of my cheek. I never had any interest in doing anything like that again.  

As the summer progressed, The Haight was starting to deteriorate with the influx of the crowds and amphetamines. After leaving the flat on Page Street, I stayed in some pretty nasty crash pads that I found through the Haight Ashbury Switchboard. I decided I needed to raise some money so I could get a room somewhere. I sold Berkeley Barbs and Oracles. graphic found on internet These were “underground newspapers” that were popular at the time. The Oracles were "psychedelic" and the Berkeley Barb was more political and was famous for it's sex ads in the back. (At another time I would sell the “Helix” in Seattle, but that’s another time and another story that can be found here: http://sylvanslife.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=23:1968-seattle-with-mary-jo).

Underground newspapers were an easy way for me to make a few dollars. I sold the Berkeley Barb in front of the old Emporium that is no longer there, (replaced by San Francisco’s “City Center” mall). I had a loud voice and I would shout out at the top of my lungs, “Berkeley Barb, get your Berkeley Barb right here!...” I think I must have seen someone selling newspapers like that once in a movie or something. It seemed very romantic at the time. graphic found on internet

From selling the newspapers, I made enough money to invest in 12 hits of acid that I planned to sell so that I could get my own room downtown in San Francisco's "Tenderloin." In those days, you could get a sleazy room for $2.00 a night or $10.00 a week.

When I was trying to sell the acid on Market Street downtown, Market street looked nothing then like it does now. The street was completely under demolition and reconstruction to accommodate the new subway that was going in which was going to eventually be what we call BART- Bay Area Rapid Transit. In 1967, it was just a lot of holes in the ground and huge beams stacked high intermittently through the street. It made for great cover if you wanted to dodge someone. In San Diego I had been harassed numerous times by the San Diego Police Department for being a “hippie.” I remember a time when I got stopped twice by two different cop cars within a one block distance. In San Francisco, the police never even looked at me. But if they did, it was pretty easy to just disappear among the piles of debris. It was the most incredible feeling of freedom not to be harassed by police. I was 16 and FREE!!

oraclegraphic found on internetI wasn't selling my acid very quickly. It was late at night on Market Street and mostly speed freaks and insomniacs and street people were wandering among the piles of BART beams. One of the street people, a man, started talking to me and hanging out on the periphery. I think he wanted to get some acid but didn't have the money or something. Then I met a women that was trying to sell her body. She told me that if I helped to find her a trick, she would buy some of my acid. I don't think I had ever met a prostitute before and I had not even had sex with a woman at that time, but here I was, a sixteen year old pimp. At that time, San Francisco was still a navy town and the fleet was in. I was too well mannered to actually be a pimp. I would quietly approach some sailors and politely ask if they were interested in the services of the woman that was nearby. I didn't use any foul anatomical language and the prostitute quickly lost patience with me and would loudly blurt out "you want to buy some pussy, sailor?" My face probably turned red with both shock but I was fascinated, too.

The prostitute approached three Navy boys and offered her wares in graphic detail. Three sailors decided that they would do business with her. The three of them, the prostitute, the guy that had been hanging around on the periphery and I all walked over to a hotel that the prostitute selected. She took the first sailor into the hotel while the rest of us stood around in the night air talking. The sailors bought some of my acid as well so things were good for me. Time went by and then suddenly, here came the prostitute, looking frantic, and saying to me to follow her as she rushed past the sailors, standing there, waiting for their turn and then bewildered as to what had happened to their friend and one dashed into the hotel to find him. The other sailor followed us for some time as we ran through the streets but he couldn't catch us and gave up the chase. Finally he gave up on catching us and went back to join his sailor friends. The prostitute bought some acid and I think she actually gave me some extra dollars and may have given some to the other guy that had just been hanging around. She had waited for the first sailor to fall asleep and then she had robbed him rather than have sex with all three. We dispersed and I never saw any of them again. I LOVED SAN FRANCISCO! 

Sometime during that same "Summer of Love"  I remember being invited by some other young people to a place called Morningstar ranch.            video found on internet I didn't remember exactly where that was other than north of the Golden Gate Bridge but now, when I Google it, I find that it was in Sebastopol.  I knew it was a commune when I visited but did not remember that it was also called "The Digger Farm."

Apparently, according to what I now know from looking it up on the internet, Lou Gottlieb founded Morningstar. He had been a folk singer with the group, The Lamplighters and then was part of the Diggers group that fed us kids in The Panhandle, and opened the Free Store on Cole Street and I believe that they also ran the Haight Ashbury "switchboard" where you could call to find out about crash pads or health care and other information. I remember that Morningstar Ranch was really my first experience with public nudity.  It was a little stressful since I did not feel comfortable taking my own clothes off. Others did walk around naked. I think we stayed there for no more than 24 hours, but it did leave a big impression on me and it wouldn't be long before I would be more comfortable with my own body and nudity with others, too. 

Back in San Francisco, with the money I had made panhandling, pimping and selling acid, I moved to a sleazy $10 a week Tenderloin hotel. Old, weathered black men rolled dice in the doorway and prostitutes, alcoholics and drug addicts lived there. It had an old rickety elevator and the rooms reeked of urine and other bodily fluids. All of this was a pretty exciting for a 16 year old boy. camelothotelThe Camelot Hotel was $10/week in 1967

The Camelot Hotel was what is now called a "Single Room Occupancy" or SRO. There were many of them in San Francisco at one time and still a few are left. I know i stayed in several in those early years. You would get a room with a bed and a dresser and the bathroom was down the hall. You shared a bath or shower with others on your floor. The rooms often wreaked of urine. There would be people yelling and acting crazy all hours of the day and night. Somebody might even come knocking on your door, inebriated, thinking someone else was still living there. 

You could get into the original Fillmore for a couple  bucks that could be easily panhandled in an afternoon. I am pretty sure I saw a few shows at the Fillmore that summer but I think I was always pretty high and don't remember much about who I saw other than Cream. I also remember free concerts in the G.G. park with The Grateful Dead and Big Brother for the funeral of a Hell's Angel named Chocolate George  

I don't remember how the summer came to an end exactly.  I ran into my friend Leslie. from San Diego somewhere in the Haight. San Francisco was like a small town in that way. It was easy to bump into people you knew from other places. Several other friends from San Diego showed up that summer but Leslie was the only one that would stay and establish herself in The City. I remember that when I ran into her, everyone was talking about Rudolph Nuryev, the famous ballet artist being caught in a drug bust.

I often used the Haight Ashbury Switchboard to find places to crash and I think my Mom contacted me through them, begging me to call collect. It had never occurred to me that she would be worried about me. Somehow by the end of the Summer of Love in San Francisco, I returned to San Diego but I'm not sure how I got there. By this time, I had lost track of everyone I had come to The City with from San Diego and I had pretty much just lived on my own. 

 I went back to San Diego to live again with my Mom and George on Lantana street. I think that it was shortly after this that I contacted the Oracle offices in San Francisco and convinced them to send me some Oracles to San Diego. That was probably still about 1967 or possibly 1968 and I would be arrested for the first and only time and that story can be found at: http://www.n-retrospect.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=22:pot-bust-getting-arrested

1967 was a great year for movies, too. This was the year of "The Graduate." Many of us could relate to the main character. 

One movie that came out in 1967 was "I am Curious Yellow." This was a film that had been banned in Massachusetts at the time. It was pretty controversial and so I wanted to see it. I was only 16 at the time, though, so I had to have someone over 18 to take me. My Mom agreed to take me to this movie which turned out to be a little awkward and embarrassing when I realized how sexually graphic it was. It seemed pretty hard core at the time to my naive, innocent eyes, but compared to today's standards, it would probably be considered soft porn. Regardless, it was not the best film for a 16 year old to see with their mother!!! 





thetripberkeleybarb67berkeleybarb67twoBerkeley Barb 9-29-67 Anger 1oracle2Oracle Cover1967








































































Thursday, 12 March 2015 06:47

1966 Living with Darlene & Chuck in Seattle

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1966- Living with Darlene & Chuck in Seattle

Either before going to Toppenish High or after going to Toppenish High, but definitely November 30th, 1966, as evidenced by an old letter from the time, I lived with Darlene and her husband Chuck at 239 S.W. 132nd Avenue in Seattle and attemded Evergreen High School briefly. It was a tiny little two bedroom house and I had my own room. I think Chuck was out of the navy by then, but I don't remember where he was working. I don't remember if Darlene worked. I know she was on diet pills at the time because I would steal some out of her bottle and Dan would come over from Toppenish and we would get a carton of cigarettes and chain smoke and play gin rummy and talk a whole lot about absolutly nothing. 


I don't want to sound cavalier about the substance use in my life. Like most kids of the time, and maybe most kids of any time, I was naive about the possible consequences of substance use. I knew well the consequences of alcoholism from watching my dad and Irene and the drama of their lives. I was just then becoming aware of drugs in 1966. I don't really remember exactly how my awareness developed. It seems like it was just part of the "cultural revolution" that was spreading across the country and the world. Musicians were the messengers and youth were receptive to the message. All I knew about drugs initialy was what I had read in our Time-Life books that we had at home. I didn't really know much. The first people that I ever knew that actually used substances other than alcohol to get high, were Leslie and her friends from San Diego. They were a few years older than me. Leslie was an unattractive, overweight extrovert that seemed to have a volatile relationship with her parents. Her mother was middle class and pretentious. Leslie had a sllim, attractive sister that she seemed to be in a losing competition with for her mother's attention and approval. Maybe realizing that she could never get her mother's attention and approval, she seemed to decide to go the other way and form her own circle of friends. 

Marnie was Leslie's sidekick. I think the two of them might have gone to school together and maybe even worked together briefly. Marnie was much more conservative and introverted than Leslie, but I think that she was attracted to Leslie's outgoing personality and daring. She was pert and preppy and employed. There were others in Leslie's group of friends when we first met them. Leslie and Marnie and their friends, like most kids at the time, were interested in music. I think that everybody respected Leslie because she actually worked at a radio station. She seemed very hip and sophisticated. Leslie and her group of friends, were into rock bands. The Luv Please, met Leslie and Marnie and her circle of friends at a car show at the San Diego concourse. Arnold Green and his band were playing there also and I think that Leslie and Marnie were initially more friendly toward that band. Other than Roger's guitar playing, I can't really say that the "Luv Please" were great musicians. I think we were probably more cute than anything else and Mark Heideman and I could follow Roger's lead to some extent and get through the songs, while Arnold and his group were more serious musicians, if I remember correctly. I had only been playing drums for a year or two by that time and I think Mark had played bass for even a shorter time, while Roger had already been playing guitar for a few years and actually took lessons. While the "Luv Please," attempted to reflect the bright and bubbly manner of "The Beatles," Arnold's group was more dark and reflective of groups like "The Rolling Stones." It was through Arnold and Roger Flores and others in that group that I first became aware of Jeff Beck and others that were known for being great guitarists. 

Arnold Green went to Orange Glen High with Roger. I don't know if they were already friends before the car show in San Diego but at some point, they became part of the same circle. They took pride in being the musician outcasts at the school and being outrageous for the times. I think they all respected me because I had actually been expelled from school. Since I had been in the newspapers and was a mini-celebrity to some extent, I think this also have me cache with Leslie and Marnie. I was the youngest of this group of kids, though. When I first met Marnie and Leslie, I was about 14. Roger was 16. Roger and Mark would hang out with Arnold and his group and they would all hang out with Leslie and Marnie and their friends. In my memory, it was Leslie and Marnie and their friends that had access to marijuana. If I remember correctly, they would also take trips across the border to Tiajuana and drink alcohol and get rolls of what they called "bennies" or "criss-cross" tabs. 

Benadrine was initially marketed as a bronchodilator but was found to have a stimulant effect which led to it being produced in tablets to treat narcolepsy and because of the euphoric effect, was then sold on the black market as a recreational drug and could be purchased easily in Tiajuana. Criss-cross tabs were another form of amphetamine readily available at the time. In the early 60's amphetamines in the form of diet pills were fairly common as well. Although I was aware of the drug use of Leslie and others, I did not indulge myself until later, when living with Darlene and Chuch in Seattle. 

I knew that Darlene was taking diet pills to lose weight and somewhere along the line, I had heard elsewhere that diet pills could make you high. I don't think we even had to take much more than the same dose that Darlene was taking to lose weight, for Dan and I to feel awake and chatty. We didn't want to be discovered stealing her pills, so I know we couldn't have taken very many but diet pills back in those days were pretty strong. I don't think that people had really figured out how dangerious and addictive amphetamines could be back then. I had known about the use of others in San Diego and how the older musicians and Leslie's circle had seemed sophisticated, and now in Seattle, I knew about something that I could now share with Dan and feel sophisticated myself. 

eaglesauditoriumseattleOn March 19th, 1967 of that year, Seattle held its first "Trips Festival" at Eagles Hall and I am pretty sure I was there. I think Dan came with me with a couple of girls I had gotten to know, who had also turned me on to Bob Dylan and Joan Baez. All these years, I had assumed it was called a "trips festival" because people were starting to use psychedelic drugs at that time but when I did a little research on this, it was called a "trips festival" partly because one of the promoters was named Trips Lansing. I seem to remember face painting and this was the first time I had seen a light show. We paid three dollars and sat on the floor. This was similar to what was going on elsewhere in the country, originated by Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters. I think this is where I bought my first "matchbox" of marijuana. A "matchbox" was exactly that, a small box in which wooden matches had come but the wooden matches had been replaced by enough marijuana to roll a couple of joints. At this time, I must have been about fifteen. There would be other shows at the Eagle auditorium we would attend, the Chambers Brothers being a memorable one. seattletripsfestival

I didn't do very well at Evergreen High School. I got into trouble with the priciple for wearing a peace sign around my neck. He was anything but hip and thought the peace sign was a symbol for marijuana rather than peace and so he brought me to the office and forbid me to wear it. I don't remember ever interacting much with the other kids at the school except for when I had taken one of Darlene's diet pills the night before and had been up all night and went to school still buzzing. I did get a part as the genie in the school play Aladdin and His Lamp and loved doing it and I think Darlene might have even come to see me in it but then one weekend we went to Toppenish and due to the usual chaos, I wasn't able to get back in time for the play and felt ashamed and humiliated, although there was no way it was my fault or any way that I had any control over any events at that time. My priorities or needs were the least of anyone's concerns. 

Darlene had her first son, Chris, while we were living at that address. Dad gave me his old car, which I believe was a Ford Galaxy, but mom wouldn't sign the papers for me to get a drivers license because my grades were so bad and so the car just sat there and deteriorated. I think that Chuck used the tires for his own car. I never once drove it after it was given to me. Eventually, we left Seattle and I remember driving back to San Diego with Darlene and Chuck. 

Besides Dan, who would come over from Yakima from time to time, I made a few friends while living with Darlene and Chuck. As close as felt to them at the time, I can't even remember their names all these years later. It is the same with so many people I have had in my early life. It was just so chaotic and we moved so frequently, relationships came and went. As children, we had no control over the chaos and the many moves from place to place. As I have said many times, the needs of children were not considered like the are today. Or maybe that was just the case in my family. 

One of my friends lived with his mother, who ran a telephone answering service out of their home. Their house was painted purple and stood out from the others along the road. There was a bank of telephones from which she operated the business. She took her son and I to Yoga classes in Seattle a couple of times. Later, after I had moved away, my friend went into the service and served in Viet Nam. I had one telephone conversation with him after that and he had completely changed and was hostile on the phone and we never spoke again. 

I also met a couple of young women that I think I actually knew for a few years and it seems like one of them was kind of my girlfriend for a while and came to San Francisco. I just wonder how it is possible. I don't think we were serious boyfriend and girlfriend. I think she wanted to get a little serious but I had no interest in sex with her. Now, I can't remember her name. I think it was with her and her friend in Seattle, that I first learned of Bob Dylan and Joan Baez. 

Dylan and Baez became more important in my life as time went by but the album that stands out for me for that time more than any others is "Freak Out," by The Mother's of Invention with Frank Zappa. frank zappa and the mothers of invention album art 27984

Thursday, 12 March 2015 06:46

1964- Darlene Marries Chuck

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I'm not sure if Darlene was even eighteen yet when she met Chuck Tasker. There was a lot of Navy and Marine men in San Diego and the surrounding area. 

I was pretty devastated when I found out that Darlene was going to marry Chuck, who was a marine stationed at Camp Pendelton, near Oceanside, a short distance from Escondido. I had always been very close to Darlene and it seemed like we had all finally achieved some stability in Escondido and I didn't want to lose that. When you live with chaos most of your life, you crave stability and fear change. I did not want to lose my sister to the obvious hayseed from Texas. She was way too good for him and I couldn't understand why she would want to marry him.

My uncle, Rex, drove Ole, Gail, Billie and Nola down from Washington to Darlene's wedding. Billie made a beautiful wedding cake. Gail told me recently that she had baked the cake in Spokane and carried it down in the car, "taking great care that it didn't get smashed with the luggage."She then frosted and decorated the cake in Escondido. Billie dyed her own wedding dress that she had worn when she married Joe Secor, for Nola to wear as a bridesmaid.The wedding itself took place on the backyard patio. Darlene has said that "The Luv Please" played at her wedding or after the wedding but, like so many things, I don't have any recollection of that. Gail remembered that we did play that weekend at Camp Pendleton.

I can't remember where Chuck and Darlene lived immediately after getting married. I assume it was probably military housing as Chuck was still in the military. I don't think it was long after she married Chuck that mom and George sold the barn house in Escondido. Roger and I probably ended up in Toppenish for a while. Eventually, I would live with Darlene and Chuck in Seattle. That is another story. 

Darlene would give birth to their son, Christopher Michael in Seattle. It was always amazing to me how much Chris was like his dad, Chuck. I am not sure if Chuck was still in the service, but he and Darlene broke up by the time Misty was born. I seem to remember that Darlene came to the house where George and mom were living on Lantana Drive in San Diego. I don't remember ever seeing Chuck again after that. My understanding is that he went back to Texas and remarried there. Chris and Misty visited him there at least once. I don't think that he ever contributed much financially to raising his kids. 



Thursday, 12 March 2015 06:44

1964- My Beatle Haircut

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IMG 2255Me with my Beatle Haircut.


1963-1964- My Beatle Haircut

I like to tell my thirteen year old nephews and nieces about getting kicked out of school when I was 13. I guess that was a proud moment in my life that I like to share. It is also fun because I know it probably puts their parents on edge a little bit. I like to encourage a little subversiveness though from young people. "Question authority," I say. Know that there are exceptions to the rules. Life doesn't have to follow the rulebook. There are many paths. I kind of see getting kicked out of school as my first act of protest... taking a stand... I have to give my Mom a lot of credit. She was a Republican with liberal values. It seems to me that most conservatives are reluctant to question authority. My Mom wasn't though.

In 1963, The Beach Boys became popular with Surfin U.S.A.. I was thirteen and lived in Escondido California. Back then it was mostly orange groves and avocado groves. We had groves all around us when we moved in but by the time we moved out a couple of years later, one grove was already gone and replaced with houses. We had a beautiful four bedroom home. It would probably sell for over a million dollars in today's real estate market. We always called it "the barn house" because one end of it was two stories and shaped like a barn. Roger and I had our bedrooms upstairs and Darlene had her's downstairs at the other end of the house across a short hall where Mom and George's bedroom was. If I remember correctly, I think we had two bathrooms. It was great living in Southern California compared to how we had been living in Spokane prior to my Mom marrying George. Of course, Texas had been a nightmare. 

It was the winter of 1963 that I started wearing my hair in a "surfer" style. This style preceded the Beatle style by just a few months. After the Beatle appearance on Ed Sullivan Feb 9th, 1964, it was just one more easy step to that style. I was already half way there because the surfer style was already a little long in the front. For the last three months of the 7th grade school year at Orange Glen Elementary, I became a Beatle fan. The little girls at school loved my hair but some of the boys teased me and gave me a hard time. 

Escondido was idyllic. It was a short drive to the beach. It was Southern California. It was the era of the "British" invasion. I probably visited my dad in Toppenish Washington some time that summer? I don't remember if I did or not. Sometime that summer I got a drum set and my brother and I started a band called "The Luv Please." We weren't really very good but I think we were probably cute. We did a couple Beatle songs, a few Rolling Stone songs, the Kinks, Gerry and the Pacemakers, and others from England mostly. We also wrote our own songs. 

A couple of weeks before school was to start, I was notified by the school that I could not come to school if I did not get a haircut. I can't remember if we were notified by mail or by phone. I seem to remember we got a letter. I definitely did not want to cut my hair. Being in a band and having longish hair was every teenager's dream. I was getting a lot of attention and having a lot of fun. Girls liked me. That was also the summer when I met Kathy. She was my first serious girlfriend. We went steady for several years from about 13-16. In the end she got married and, although I cried, I ultimately realized I was gay anyway so it really didn't matter.kathyzaddock

I can't remember my Mom ever strongly encouraging me to cut my hair. I think she might have but mostly I remember her being supportive of me and angry that the school was telling me how I could wear my hair. She saw that as an affront to liberties, which is more of a liberal stance than a conservative stance. Conservatives, then as now, were more about saluting and standing erect and being respectful of authority, not questioning it. The school authorities had given a mandate and the conservative thing to have done would be going along with that mandate. The liberal thing to do was to fight it. My Mom chose to support me in fighting for my liberties although she stopped short of going to court which I think was because she was afraid of embarrassing George. I think she was probably much clearer on what the issues were than I was though. She helped me craft a letter to the editor that was probably at least as much her as it was me. We hand delivered it to the editor too. They took my picture. 


I guess it must have been the next day when my fifteen minutes started ticking. It must have been a Sunday too because I know George was taking his five girls, Sandy, Barbie, Carol, Connie and Georgie, back to San Diego. He had loaded them all up in the camper I think and had left to take them home when about thirty minutes went by, they came back, running into the house with a stack of newspapers. I was on the front cover of both the Escondido newspaper and the much bigger San Diego paper. Over the next few days we would learn that the story was carried across the country. I received letters from little girls from all over the country. My "fan" letters! Mom also got some hate mail saying that she should force me to cut my hair and that it was terrible that she was letting me do this. Within a couple of days, a television reporter came out to our house and I was interviewed. It was all very exciting for a thirteen year old boy.beatlehaircut2

A rebel teacher by the name of Mrs. Hard, contacted us and told my Mom that she would like to be my tutor. I think she did want my Mom to pay her something but I think my Mom negotiated and ended up not paying much of anything. I think Mrs Hard would have liked the money but she needed a student more than she needed the money. I don't know exactly what her story was but I think she had been fired from a public school. She was pretty religious and she insisted on reading from the Bible so maybe that was where she ran into trouble with the public school system. She was also very into phonics as the only way to teach reading and I agree with that but I was also already a pretty good reader. She tried to teach me how to play piano but I had no aptitude for it. I walked about three miles to her house every day during the eighth grade and she regularly gave reports to my Mom of my progress. Every day at lunch, she would make me a little lunch of a sandwich and something to drink. I don't know why my Mom didn't make a lunch to send with me.. or maybe she did sometimes... but I do remember eating sandwiches made by Mrs. Hard because they were so different from what I was used to. I can't remember now what she put on them but I do remember them being strange to my taste. I remember Mrs. Hard's husband was kind of a dusty, teetering, mild mannered old man.

A few weeks after I had been kicked out of school, Ronnie Fisher, a neighbor boy and another male friend from Orange Glen Elementary all bought the same turtle neck shirts. I think the point was to make ourselves a "group"- not a musical group or a group with any rhyme or reason. We were just three boys that wanted the same "look." The three of us wore our turtleneck shirts when we took our girlfriends of the time to the movie theater in downtown Escondido.

I can't remember now what movie we saw but the six of us sat together and throughout the movie, somebody was throwing popcorn kernels at us. Kids were disruptive during the movie and management kept kicking these disruptive kids out of the theater. I went out to the lobby to get some candy or something and saw that the kids that were getting kicked out were not leaving. They were amassing outside the theater lobby on the sidewalk. Apparently, they were waiting for our group to exit the theater!

Of course, being the attentions seeking drama queen that I was at the time, it all seemed like fun in some way. I think we loved the attention on the one hand and I think this obscured what judgement we might have had at that age. After the movie ended, we could have just called someone to pick us up and waited in the lobby but we didn't do that. No, we called Ronnie Fisher's father to pick us up as planned and then exited the theater into the rambunctious crowd of other youngsters. We didn't really feel the extent of their hostility until we were outside. There was a lot of pushing and shoving and we tried to get back into the theater but management had locked the doors. Thankfully, nobody actually got punched or harmed but Ronnie's dad was pretty angry when he picked us up and saw the situation.

As I mentioned before, I had a girlfriend for several years, named Kathy. She was a year or two older than me. I met her and her friend, Karen, at the roller skating rink, where I went regularly. I loved roller skating when I was a kid. I don't know if there is anything particularly athletic about it, but I hated competitive team sports that other boys seemed to love and roller skating was something you could do on your own and not have to compete against anyone else. After I had met Kathy, her and Karen came out to the barn house on their horses one day. Kathy's family lived on the other side of Escondido from use, several miles away, and they had a small stable with several horses. Her and Karen were best friends. 

I seemed to get around pretty good back then. Escondido was really not that big of a town- it was probably about three or four miles from our house to Kathy's house. I would go over there pretty often. Her Mom and dad seemed nice enough but I would often go over when they were not at home. Kathy also had some siblings that would threaten to tell on us when they found us making out or doing a lot of heavy petting, sometimes in a bed, under the covers. We didn't actually ever get completely naked, since the siblings were often around, but we did get under the blankets, we might as well have been. We never went "all the way." Eventually, her siblings told on us and then I was banned from coming over when the parents were not at home, although I think we ignored this ban at times. I still considered myself a virgin.

Roger was sexually active at a young age, and when he got together with his male friends, who were all a few years older than I, like most boys, they talked about girls and sex. They would always ask me if I was having sex with Kathy and I would turn red and try to change the subject. I remained a virgin for several more years and it became more and more of a burden. Being a virgin can be a terrible burden when you are a young male. After I was kicked out of school, most of the males that I knew, were musicians from the Luv Please or other bands. Most of the guys I knew were older. When women are not around, much of what guys talk about has to do with having sex with women. It was humiliating that I was not having intercourse with Kathy or other girlfriends later. Looking back on it, I think these girls wanted to have intercourse but something, which I didn't identify as homosexuality at the time, held me back.

Kathy was a great girlfriend for several years though, and eventually, when I was away one summer, she quit waiting for me and got pregnant by another young boy when she was about eighteen. She would go on and eventually have about four kids with him. I would reconnect with her briefly some years later after she had divorced and she had moved to Northern California. I don't think she ever knew that I was gay, though. I looked for her on Facebook after that became popular in the late double oughts but couldn't remember her married name. She would always have a place in my heart. I'm not sure exactly what I would call that place- nostalgia? 

Kathy was the first person that I ever made out with at a drive-in. Her Mom was the one that drove us to the drive-in and was sitting in the front seat and kept an eye on us in the rear-view mirror. We went to see "The Tammy Show" which was the first time that I ever saw James Brown perform. It blew us away when he did his song, "Please, Please, Please," and fell on his knees and then someone come out and throw a cape over his shoulders and helped him up and it looked like they were going to help him offstage and then he fell on his knees again!! It was very exciting! Gerry and the Pacemakers and The Rolling Stones were also headliners in this early concert documentary film but James Brown really stole the show and I think that this performance gave him a much wider audience than what he had previously. 

Kathy got tickets to see The Beatles when they came to San Diego and Karen and I went with her. I don't think she paid over $10.00 for each ticket. She and Karen screamed all the way through the concert as did most of the girls. I wanted to scream too, but had to suppress it of course. Kids were running across the stadium field to get closer to The Beatles, who were performing in the center of the field, and the police were catching them. It was the first, and probably the most exciting concert I ever attended. 

Kathy also got tickets to see Sonny and Cher at the San Diego concourse. Kathy had long "Cher" hair down her back, almost to her waist. I had hair that was about as long as Sonny's was at the time. Kathy sewed and got a pattern for some boy's bell bottoms and some wide wale corduroy material. I got a fur coat and took off the sleeves and turned it into a fur vest. We looked pretty hip by the time we got to the concert. I think we sat in about the 14th row. We had great seats. I think that the musicians might have been hired locally to back up Sonny and Cher as Sonny kept giving them direction as they performed. He seemed to think they were playing too loud or something and maybe drowning out the voices. It was all wonderful to us though. After they left the stage, we ran as fast as we could to try and get to them before they got into their limo so we could get autographs. We ran across the huge lobby of the concourse and I had on leather moccasins and slipped on the floor and went sliding toward the huge wall of glass that was the entrance to the lobby, stopping just inches away from catastrophe. We didn't make it out to the limo but it was all a very exciting night.

































































































































letter1I received letters from across the country- Some supportive- some not.


timesherald2Letter from my Mom to the Escondido Times Herald

Tuesday, 10 March 2015 19:37

1963- Escondido- Early 60's

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I was about 12 or 13 when we moved to Escondido, California from Abilene Texas. I remember we looked at several houses before "the barn house," as we always called it, was selected. It was the nicest home I had ever lived in up to that point and since that point. It was a spacious four bedroom with probably twenty-five to three thousand square feet. It had a laundry room and a separate garage. The living room had beautiful hardwood floors and there was even a small room between the living room and the kitchen which could be closed off which we called "the telephone room" as that was the only thing anyone ever did in there. Of course, it was a very different time from today, when everyone has a phone in their pocket. Back then, most people had one land line in the home that was either black or white. A few years later, the "Princess" phone would be the first to come in other colors. 

We had a lovely brick patio in the back and a small slope covered in ice plant that led into an avocado grove. I had never seen an avocado before then and didn't care for them initially. The front lawn was huge and required regular mowing which Roger often did. We had a wood fireplace. We all just loved that house. I don't remember what they paid for it, but eventually, a couple of years later, Mom and George would sell it for about $30,000. Forty years later, I revisited the house during the real estate boom and am certain that the house was worth over a million dollars by then.

Roger and I enrolled at Orange Glen Elementary and Darlene must have enrolled at Orange Glen High School. I know Roger and I rode a school bus although there were some days that Roger would actually choose to run home instead of riding the bus. He was very athletic at the time and broke one of the track "records" at Orange Glen Elementary. That would haunt me later when the coach and other students would have some unrealistic expectation of my competing with Roger's athleticism. I was much more interested in playing games with the girls like "four square" or "tether ball." I had no interest in basketball or football or track or any of the rest. I also didn't like having to change clothes in a classroom with other boys and then come back to the class all sweaty as there were no showers at the school at that time. 

I was terribly allergic to pollen in Escondido and lived on Dristan which had terrible side effects and was totally ineffective for controlling my symptoms. There were times of the year that I was constantly sneezing and would carry a handkerchief that would be soaked through by the end of the day. It was pretty miserable at times, but still worth the misery to be out of Texas and somewhere that people were a little more civilized. 

Life was almost "normal" for the first time in years when we lived in Escondido. We no longer bought our clothes at Goodwill or Salvation Army. We actually got to buy new clothes. We actually lived there long enough that I was able to establish relationships and have real friends for the first time in my childhood. I think Roger must have felt the same way, although I'm not certain how Darlene felt as she was starting to have more difficulties by this time.


Roger seemed to be George's favorite. He was athletic and would go with George on mountain climbing trips. George was not interested in most other sports though. Roger was popular at Orange Glen because he was a musician and was on the football team and had a letter-man jacket with a big O.G. on it. It is odd that in spite of his accomplishments in high school sports, I don't remember Mom or George or any of us ever attending any game he played in. Nowadays and even back then, I think most families would try to show support for their kids and accomplishments but as far as I can remember, Roger's athletic accomplishments were essentially ignored. On the positive side, we were given a lot of encouragement and support for playing music. 


Escondido- Roger's Go-Cart. Roger at about 15. McHenry Girls. 


One of my favorite things to do back then was ride my skateboard. It was tiny by today's standards and we didn't do the kinds of tricks that kids do now. It was called "Sidewalk Surfing" made popular by the Jan and Dean 1964 hit. We loved living in Southern California which seemed like the center of the universe for young people at the time. 

Another favorite activity back then was reading. I read my first real "adult" novel when I was about thirteen. I started reading it while visiting Spokane and staying with Billie and Joe. I remember being in an old trailer they had on their property and coming across a book called "Peyton Place," by Grace Metalious. I think there may have been something on the cover about it having been banned and so that probably got my interest. I started reading this melodramatic soap opera where people actually had sexual desires and secrets. I loved it and when I returned to Escondido, I got the sequel, "Return to Peyton Place" and then Harold Robbin's "The Carpetbaggers" and then other Harold Robbin's books. I was hooked on reading and I continued to enjoy reading for many years after this. To 


this day, I remember a line from Peyton Place- the rich get richer and the poor get children. How true! 

From the time we had lived on Broadway in Spokane, before my Mom married George, to Abilene and now in Escondido, I enjoyed going roller skating. This was before the modern inline s

kates that kids use now. Back then, the roller skates had four wheels and you went to a "rink" to skate. Sappy organ versions of classic songs would be played that you skated to. In Escondido, I continued to enjoy roller skating and it was there that I would eventually meet Kathy and Karen. They were best friends and flirted with me and Kathy became my girlfriend and we "went steady" and almost "all the way" a few years later.

There was a neighbor boy that was a year or so younger than I that I spent a lot of my time with outside of school. Although he was a year younger than me, it seemed like he was less naive than I was in many ways. He also had an older brother that was more athletic than he was and I think he related to the same situation with Roger and I. When I got a little older and realized I was gay, and I looked back on this relationship in Escondido, I wondered if this boy may have turned out to be gay too. 

While living in Escondido, George's girls, Sandi, Barbi, Carol, Connie and Georgie would visit regularly every other weekend. I got along well with all of them for the most part. Georgie and I were close to the same age. George had bought Mom a sewing machine that had a lot of bells and whistles that seemed to frustrate my Mother but George used it to make all of us back packs to take on camping trips. I would use mine for many years to come after that when I was hitchhiking up and down the West Coast and elsewhere. 

JPEG 0211Me, Sandi and Connie in the snow


Years later, Milton and I would take a trip to Southern California and we stopped by Escondido to see the old Barn House. By this time, it had been painted white and what had been the garage must have been converted to more living space and a detached garage had been added. It was now surrounded by homes and the orange groves and avocado groves were gone. 



Page 2 of 2


Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Earthquake! Click to read story.
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
Click to read "Introduction."
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Grandview- Click for story
Women in Oils- Click for story
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
Me in first grade- Click for story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
Amber- Click to read story.
Palouse- Click for story
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
Where I was born- Click for story.
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.


01. Introduction

03- Dads Family

03- Photos of my Father and his family

04- My Mother's Family

04- Photos of my Mom

04- Video of my Mom

04- Walling Family Reunions

04-Audio Files of My Mom

04. Billie

04. Ole

04.1. Forbidden Dreams of Love

04.2. Flames of Forbidden Love

04.3 Mom Writing Her Life Story

05- Jim Tarbert

05. Roger

1950's Grandview to Toppenish

1957-1958 1st Grade

1958-1959- Third Grade

1959- Palouse

1961- 4th Grade- Last time I wore a dress

1962- Abilene

1963- Escondido- Early 60's

1964- Darlene Marries Chuck

1964- My Beatle Haircut

1964-The Luv Please

1965 or 1966- Steve Castle

1965- In Foster Care

1966 Living with Darlene & Chuck in Seattle

1967- Juvenile Hall

1976- I Praise Thee (poem to Stanley)

1976- My Second Lover, Stanley Dunne

1976- Paul McCartney and Wings

1976-1330 Bush Street #9J

1977- 1667 Haight Street

1977- Trip to San Diego with Mary Jo

1977-1980- Tumultuous Relationship with John Perry

1978- 525 Haight Street

1979- September- Dad is Murdered

1980's- AIDS- Death and Dying

1980- Winter- First Trip to New York

1980- Word, Sound and Power

1981- Milton- Falling in Love

1982-1993 465 Waller Street

1982-1994 Computers to MacNursing

1984- 33rd Birthday

1985- Graduation from Nursing School

1985- Trip to Hawaii (Oahu)

1988- MIdnight Caller

1989- Earthquake!

1991- Aug 10th- Mom Passes Away

1991- Black Males in Oils

1991- Crack of My Life

1993- Move to Vallejo & Our First Home

1995-1. Road Trip to Washington

1995-2. Surprise Trip to Vegas

1995-3. Grandmother Rogers & Aunts Visit Darlene's

1995-4. Amber

1998- Camping at Russian River

2000 -Thoughts about Progressive Christians

2000- Resignation from John George

2001- April- Trip to Cancun

2001- Peace and Justice

2001- September 11th

2002- April-Puerto Vallarta & Blue Bay Getaway

2002- Nov 12th- My Stepfather, George McHenry Passes Away

2003- Trip to D.C. and N.Y.

2004- Feb- Road Trip to Baha Mexico

2004- Walling Family Reunion in Spokane

2005- Christmas Poem

2005- Darlene Visit for Pride Celebration

2005- Trip to Orlando

2005-1. Europe- London

2005-2. Europe- Paris

2005-3. Europe- Venice

2005-4. Europe- Florence

2005-5. Europe- Rome

2005-6. Europe- Athens

2005-7. Knee Surgery & Tongue Biopsy

2006 Christmas Poem

2006- February 23- Times Herald

2006- Palm Springs White Party

2006- Trip to Seattle

2006-July 8th Solano Peace and Justice Coalition BBQ

2007- Feb- Carnival Destiny- Our First Cruise

2007- Tre and Casey Visit

2008- Aug 15-18 Spokane Visit

2008- Psycho Song

2009- Honored by Vallejo Gay Network

2009- Women in Oils

2010 Christmas Poem

2010- Feb. R.C. Mariner of the Seas Mexican Riviera Cruise

2010- June 24- Badlands

2010- Trip to Seattle

2010-1. Europe- Amsterdam

2010-2. Europe- Paris

2010-3. Europe- Barcelona & Sitges

2010-4. Europe- Madrid

2011-1. Feb. My Fabulous 60th Birthday Weekend

2011-2. April- L.A., Palm Springs & "The White Party"

2011-3. Poem- Girl From Medical Lake

2011-4. Old Man Dancing

2011-5. May- Misty and Alex Visit

2011-6. August- Darlene and Sean's Visit

2011-7. Alex 16-18 & Pics

2012- March- Carnival Splendor Mexican Riviera with Family

2013- Wedding

2014- Christmas Poem

2014- First Gay Cruise

2014- September Road Trip to San Diego

2015- Seasonal Affective Blues

2015- Second Gay Cruise

2015- War on Christmas poem

2015-"Badlands" and Gay Bar Etiquette

2015-September 8. Political History

2016 Do Not Speak for Gay Males

2016- April- Palm Springs RV Adventure

4/4/2016- Not Going Along to Get Along

9/4/15- Liberals vs Conservatives

2016- Letter to a Third Party Voter

2016- May- Why I Decided to Vote for Hillary in the California Primary

2016- Trump Dystopia

2016- Which Democrat For President 2020?

2017 Atlantis Events Allure of the Seas cruise

9/4/15- Liberals vs Conservatives

1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
Amber- Click to read story.
1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
Women in Oils- Click for story
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
Palouse- Click for story
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
Click to read "Introduction."
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.
Where I was born- Click for story.
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
Earthquake! Click to read story.
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Me in first grade- Click for story.
Grandview- Click for story
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story