Wednesday, 22 April 2015 17:54

1964-The Luv Please




The year 1964 was an incredible year for music. In 1963, I had become a Beach Boys fan based on 1962's hit "Surfin Safari" and 1963's "Surfin U.S.A." and in 1964, they had released their hit, "I Get Around." The Four Season's also did multi-part harmonies and had hits with "Rag Doll," and "Dawn" that year. Jan and Dean were also promoting the Southern California surfing culture with "Dead Man's Curve." and "The Little Old Lady From Pasadena." This was the first year I heard of a woman named Barbara Streisand when she had a hit with her song, "People" and probably the first time I heard of Louis Armstrong when he put out "Hello, Dolly." Dean Martin had "Everybody Loves Somebody." The Supremes were still fairly new and had a couple of the top songs that year, including, "Baby Love," and "Where Did Our Love Go." Dionne Warwick sang, "Walk on By" and Lesley Gore sang, "You Don't Own Me."

"Louie Louie" by The Kingsmen had us all listening closely to the lyrics, trying to figure out why they were "dirty" or risqué. I'm not sure we ever figured that out but at the time, the song supposedly had off color lyrics. Whenever I tried to find those lyrics, it just seemed like they were too garbled to understand.

Of course, the biggest event in music that year happened the night of February 9th, 1964 when Ed Sullivan introduced "The Beatles" on his show. We had already heard "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and "Twist and Shout" on the radio but seeing them, live, on T.V., was one of the biggest events in my life. Sixty percent of the countries' televisions were tuned to Ed Sullivan that night. Seventy-three million of us saw them open with "All My Loving." While nothing in music would ever be the same, many of us look back to that time and feel that nothing in our lives would ever be the same. The Beatles had an incredible impact on a country that was still mourning the loss of their President, John Kennedy, who had just been assassinated only seventy-seven days before. 

This was only the beginning of "The British Invasion." The Beatles would dominate the charts for years to come. In 1964, they had hits with "I Want to Hold Your Hand," "She Loves You," "A Hard Day's Night," "Love Me Do," "Please, Please Me," "Twist and Shout," "Can't Buy Me Love," "Do You Want to Know a Secret," and "I Saw Her Standing There." Later that year, in July, they would release their first film, "Hard Day's Night," which I would see in Toppenish.

Other groups from "The British Invasion" were Manfred Mann with "Do Wah Diddy Diddy," The Dave Clark Five with "Glad All Over," "Bits and Pieces," and "Do You Love Me." The Animals had "House of the Rising Sun." Gerry and the Pacemakers had "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying." The Kinks did "You Really Got Me." 


After the Beatles had made their three appearances on The Ed Sullivan show, Roger and I formed our band, The Luv Please. "Luv" was a term British invaders used when addressing young girls. Roger played lead and was actually a good musician. I beat on the drums and looked cute, although I was never a great drummer. Mark Heideman, high school friend of Roger's, played bass guitar. I can't remember the name of the guy that played rhythm guitar but was reminded recently that there was another guy named Roger that played rhythm briefly but was eventually replaced by a guy named Barry. We all sang, although my brother, Roger, probably did most of the singing. 

We played at school dances, malls, battle of the bands and wherever else we could. I think Darlene said we played at her wedding although I have no recollection of that. Maybe we played somewhere on the evening of her wedding.

We got some publicity when I got kicked out of school and I think that probably contributed to our opportunities. The t.v. crew that came to the house to film the news story about me getting kicked out of school, also let us know of an opportunity to play in San Diego. This was the biggest event that we played at during the time we were together as a band. As I have said before many times, our lives were constant chaos and somehow, I was back in Toppenish at some point and Roger was going to just play the event with the rest of The Luv Please and a different drummer. For some reason, which was a bit out of character, my dad and his wife, Irene, decided to drive Donna, David, Hebert and myself down to San Diego for this event. I think my Dad and Irene were drinking along the way and we stopped and stayed at sleazy, no-brand motels- the kinds of places you could probably rent by the hour. We did make it to San Diego and I was able to participate in the event, although I did not play drums. I think that was the last time I was part of The Luv Please and it wasn't long after this that Roger went on to participate in other bands. He continued to play music through the rest of his life. More about Roger and his music can be found here:

We also recorded a little "45" record of a couple of our original songs which would eventually be lost when my mom's cedar chest was stolen. The band was much fun but also work. Roger was a task master and pushed the rest of us to be more serious about our instruments. He wanted us to practice, practice, practice. 


In January of 1966, according to a letter from Barbie McHenry, I found from the time, Roger and I were living at 1019 E. Pennsylvania Avenue in Escondido. I believe that this must have been with my aunt Ole and my cousin, Gail, who had come down to Escondido to live for a while. I'm not sure if they had come down to get away from the cold Spokane winter or were there specifically to keep an eye on Roger and I. It seems to me that they had actually lived in Escondido a couple of different times but I am not sure as I am writing this. 

I know we lived with Ole and Gail when Roger and I had a rollover accident in his '57 Chevy station wagon. We were coming back to 


 Escondido from Poway and were behind a Hispanic farm worker by all appearances. I don't remember if he had fruit boxes on his truck or fruit or why it is that I know he was Hispanic. Maybe I know it from seeing him after the accident. Regardless, as we driving along the two lane highway, the driver inf front of us started to slow down and without turning on a turn signal he started pulling to the right. It seemed the perfect opportunity to pass him and it was a legal place to pass. Suddenly he turned back to left and Roger had to swerve to keep from missing him and lost control of the Chevy and he rolled over a couple of times. And this was before seat belts! It gave us quite a scare. The worst was yet to come when Roger would be blamed for the accident which I think was only because of his youth and appearance at the time we went to court. 

Mark Heideman


























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LuvPleaseBillie and Joe arranged for the us to play at "Western Dance Center" in Spokane. Me on left, Roger in center and Dennis Clark on right. Dennis was the cousin of David Young, who lived a couple of blocks from my cousin, Gail, in Spokane. Gail has pony tail with blue ribbon.



























Published in Teens

 1967- Sweet Sixteen, The Summer of Love and Psychedelics

meatabout16Me at about 16I love the San Francisco Bay Area. I came here for the first time when I was 16. I was living in San Diego at the time with my Mom and my stepfather, George. We were living at 4932 Lantana Drive in a fixer-upper home my Mom and George had bought. My bed was in the basement of the house which had it’s own entry door, which gave me the ability to come and go pretty easily as I pleased. George was building stairs from the basement up into the kitchen upstairs but at that time, you had to go outside to get upstairs. 

My best friends at the time were Mary Jo, Leslie, and Marnie. We had become friends after Roger and I and our group, "The Luv Please" had played at a "Battle of The Bands" in San Diego. We went to a club called the Palace and we were experimenting with drugs.


I was in transition between an old girlfriend, Kathy, that was concerned about what L.S.D. would do to my chromosomes and my new girlfriend, Edith, who couldn't have cared less about my chromosomes.

Much of our lives at that time revolved around music. The "British Invasion" had occurred just three years earlier when the Beatles had done three shows on The Ed Sullivan show. That changed everything pertaining to rock music. In 1967, the Beatles had "Penny Lane," "All You Need is Love," and "Hello Goodbye" in the top 100. The Rolling Stones released "Ruby Tuesday" that year. In 1967, the contrived American television group, The Monkees did well with "I'm a Believer," "Pleasant Valley Sunday," "A Little Bit Me, a Little Bit You," and "Daydream Believer." Scott McKenzie had a hit with "San Francisco, Be Sure to Wear a Flower in Your Hair." Many of us wanted to be in San Francisco with a flower in our hair. The Supremes had a couple of hits that year with "Love is Here and Now Your Gone," "The Happening," and "Reflections." 

For me, that year, the release of Jefferson Airplanes,"White Rabbit" with it's obvious psychedelic drug references was significant. 


Probably the most significant music event during the "Summer of Love," was when a new guy on the music scene, or new to me anyway, Jimi Hendrix, released his debut album, "Are You Experienced" which contained, "Purple Haze." "White Rabbit" and "Purple Haze" were like commercials for taking L.S.D. We really were going through a cultural revolution.
are you experienced

Kathy Zaddock and I went together for about three years, from the time I was 13 in Escondido and had gotten kicked out of school for having “long hair” (that story can be found here: ( I met Kathy roller skating which I did pretty regularly at that time. She and her best friend, Karen Kern, used to come roller skating and I guess they thought I was cute in my Beatle haircut. Kathy was the more attractive in my mind. We went together for three y)ears and we did have some sexual play during that time. I guess you would call what we did, “heavy petting?” kathyzaddock

My mother and her husband, George, had left Escondido, though, by the time I was 16 in 1967, The Summer of Love. I had lived in Washington State for a while with my dad. Upon my return to live with my Mom and George, now on Lantana Drive in San Diego, Kathy had started to move on to the man that she would eventually marry and have four children with, and then ultimately divorce some years later. When I first heard of her engagement, I grieved the loss of my first real heterosexual relationship. I was inconsolable for a about a day which seemed like a lot in those teenage days. 

Edith would be my second heterosexual relationship. It was very brief- so brief that I don't even remember Edith's last name! I think I must have met her at Jerry Herrera's club, "The Palace," a club for kids 16 and older. 

Jerry Herrera had been booking bands in San Diego since the 1950's for dances and concerts. In 1965 he had opened San Diego's first rock and roll club, "The Palace," across the street from the San Diego Sports Arena. The house band was called "Palace Pages" and they would go on to become "iron Butterfly." 

My brother, Roger, and his band with Allen Green, Roger Flores, Steve Arenz(?), and others, whose names I don't remember, would play at the Palace. We all went to see them play of course. There was a stage and dance floor. If I remember correctly, there was a balcony area where you could look down at the dance floor. It seemed to get a pretty good crowd. Leslie & Marnie were always there when I was there. Edith and I would dance.

The Palace was where I first remember seeing black light posters for sale. They had a small psychedelic shop that sold the posters and black lights. along with cigarette papers, pipes, roach clips, peace buttons and other hippie paraphernalia. 

I don't remember what time The Palace would close. I can't remember if they even served alcohol. I'm not sure if it was actually considered a bar. I was only 16 then and certainly couldn't drink alcohol. Regardless, one night after the Palace, a group of us went to Mission Beach and I’m not sure but that might have been the first night that I dropped acid which was what people called L.S.D. back then which was short for lysergic acid diethylamide. 

Timothy Leary and the media had made L.S.D. famous. Dr. Timothy Leary, a professor at Harvard had established the "Psychedelic Research Project" at Harvard in 1960. The Federal Government had classified L.S.D. as an "experimental drug" in 1962. The media talked of L.S.D. on sugar cubes. There were sensational stories of kids taking L.S.D. and thinking they could fly and then jumping out of windows.Leary and Alpert were fired from Harvard in 1963 because of their advocating the use of psychedelics to "expand the mind." California passed the Grunsky Bill in 1966, making the drug illegal in California.  learygraphic from internetIn 1967, at the first "Human Be-in," Timothy Leary told the crowd to "tune in, turn on, and drop out," which the media spread immediately to the rest of the country and young people were listening. When you took L.S.D., it was called at "trip."

Ken Kesey had been doing the "Acid Tests" for a few years by 1967 with his "Merry Pranksters." On January 8th, 1966, the "Trips Festival" had taken place at the Fillmore. By the time I had arrived in San Francisco for The Summer of Love, Stanley Owsley had been perfecting his famous L.S.D. and the Fillmore had become a "trips festival" on an ongoing basis. I know I attended at least a couple of Fillmore shows that summer but remember very little about those shows as I was usually tripping.

Cream Concert I Went To


I would eventually take over a hundred trips between the time I was 16 and my early twenties. I never had any desire to jump out of any windows and came to believe that most of the horror stories about L.S.D. were probably urban myths. In later adulthood, I did see schizophrenics when I worked as an R.N. on psychiatric units that may have had psychosis brought on or exacerbated their mental illness by taking too many L.S.D. trips or other drugs. 

I remember laughing a lot when I first started taking acid. It was necessary to set aside about eight hours for a "trip." First, there was the "coming on" phase which usually took about an hour, then the "peaking" phase which took about six hours and then the "coming down" phase which took another hour or two. Most of my experience with L.S.D. was much fun but eventually it became too exhausting. It was easier to find a block of eight hours in my youth for those activities than it was when I got older and busy with the activities of making a living. 


Light show from edited footage from internet


I know I was on acid the night I went to San Francisco the first time. I was with Edith at the Palace and then we went to a "beach party" at Mission Beach in San Diego. That night, she and her brother were going to “run away” from home and they had talked this guy, E.J., into driving them to San Francisco in his station wagon. Edith wanted me to go too and it sounded like an "adventure" to me. It was 1967 and the Summer of Love and everyone was going to San Francisco. We had recently seen Big Brother and the Holding Company at the San Diego Convention Center and were in the first row and Janis Joplin invited everyone to San Francisco to see what was happening there.

That night, after The Palace and then after the beach party, five of us piled into E.J.'s old station wagon. EJ drove me by my house so I could get my sleeping bag and leave my Mom a note telling her I was going to San Francisco. It didn’t occur to me that she would worry or be upset or anything. I didn’t perceive it at all as running away. I just saw this as an adventure, kind of like a Tom Sawyer sort of thing. I think my Mom kind of admired my independence.

We probably left San Diego about 3am in the morning. There was EJ driving, Edith, her brother, some other person I remember nothing about and myself. Somewhere along the way, we picked up a hitchhiker and he was familiar with San Francisco and he wrote down an address for us to check out. He thought that we could probably “crash” there. I don’t really remember much else about the trip itself. I know the hitchhiker didn’t go all the way with us but have not idea where we let him out. When we arrived in San Francisco, we parked along side, what I would later learn was called “The Panhandle.” This is a finger of Golden Gate Park that extends into the Haight for several blocks bordered by Fell and Oak streets.

haightashburyAt some point, a policeman came and told us that we couldn’t sleep there in the car. We woke up and got out and walked a block over to Page street and found the address that the hitchhiker had given us. It was a beautiful building with bay windows and a turret at 1666 Page Street. I was struck even then with the difference in architecture in San Francisco from anywhere I had ever been previously in my life.

When we first knocked and a hippie girl answered the door and we told her our plight, she seemed irritated that we had awakened her so early in the morning. The "flat" was on the third floor and one of the guys living there came down the stairs to see what was going on. I 

1666pageremember them being a little irritated that somebody had given out their address but eventually they accepted us in. There were already about five people living in the house. Edith and I slept on the floor in our sleeping bags. I stayed there for only a week or two. I think E.J. returned to San Diego. Edith made plans to hitchhike to New York after the first few days and she left and I never saw or heard from her again. I will always wonder if she made it safely. Her brother and I hung out for a bit but he was into speed and always seemed kind of weird to me.

A couple of the people that lived in the flat were black and a few years older than us. They were probably in their twenties or even thirties. One had a bit of asthma or emphysema which was exacerbated by all the pot he smoked and he seemed quite a bit older than us at the time. People came and went through the flat. I met my first “out” black homosexual. He gave me a blow job in the throughway between a couple of buildings. The whole thing didn’t last very long but it was exciting and I still remember that. I think that it must have been my first blow job. I had never had int

ercourse with a girl at this point. I had masturbated with other boys, but otherwise, I was a virgin. 

Although our hosts were generous initially, they did want us to get out on our own. I panhandled during the day. I went to Love’s Burgers and got a plate and plastic fork and then would take it

down to the panhandle where the Diggers were 

feeding people. I stayed at various crash pads. 

I went to the Straight Theater, (which was originally called "The Haight" theater but in 1967, in disrepair, was called the Straight Theater and was torn down in the 70's

or 80's). There were no seats in the theater by that time and Big Brother and the Holding Company with Janis Joplin would practice there and you could see them for free or spare change.

One day while walking down Haight street, at about Clayton, I saw Janis Joplin walking a dog, towards me. I thought to myself, “I have got to say something to her… what can I say… fast… the opportunity will soon be gone…” and I blathered “Spare change?” She walked on past and didn’t even give me eye contact but that was okay. I had spoken to Janis Joplin.

Janis Joplin seated 1970

I would hang out on “hippie hill” which was about a block into Golden Gate Park. There were usually somewhere around fifty people sitting on the hill. Often there would be a group of multicultural/multiethnic/multiracial drummers making a beat for us to groove to. Usually there would be the smell of marijuana in the air. In the summer of love, there always seemed to be a lot of marijuana around. I didn’t have money to buy it but somebody was always handing me a joint.

diggersfreefoodpanhandle1967graphic found on internetThe Diggers were a group of activists and actors associated with The San Francisco Mime Troupe. Peter Coyote, an actor, was one of the founding members of The Diggers. When I arrived in San Francisco, they were providing free food in the Panhandle. The food would usually be a soupy stew concoction served out of huge multi-gallon pots.  It was well known that you could pick up a paper plate and fork or spoon at Love Burgers at 1568 Haight and then bring those to The Panhandle to eat. The Diggers also opened a free store at 1090 Cole Street. loveburger

Speed was becoming popular in the Haight by that time and people were using it at 1666 Page Street too. There were also warnings out on the street that "Speed Kills." I had never known anyone that injected drugs until then. I'm not sure if that was the same as the methamphetamine of modern times or if it was some earlier variation of that. I remember a women coming to the flat to shoot up, herself. Up until that time, I had not seen anyone use I.V. drugs on Page Street or anywhere for that matter. I watched her carefully cook the white powder in a tablespoon and then use a belt to "tie off" her arm. Then she drew up the drug through a white cotton ball. She shared here "works," the syringe and needle with one of the housemates. This was long before HIV and Aids.

She was ecstatic and wanted others to share the experience but I was afraid of needles and didn't really want to do it. She kept encouraging me to try it and insisted it wouldn't hurt at all. Finally I relented and let her use a belt to "tie me off" and then inject the needle into my vein. I immediately regretted it, as she apparently missed the vein and it WAS quite painful.

For the rest of the night, I was speeding and paced through the Haight until the early morning hours. I remember the air being wet as it sometimes is in San Francisco and the only other people awake are also wired on speed and will babble about nothing for hours if you will listen. I tried not to listen. I didn't see the girl that shot me up for another week or so when I passed her on the street and she told me that I needed to go to the public health clinic to get tested as she had tested positive for hepatitis. I went to the health clinic and got some gamoglobulin and decided that my one episode of letting someone inject drugs into my veins was way too too dangerous and too much hassle and I didn't really like being so wired up, awake all night on the streets, gnawing the inside of my cheek. I never had any interest in doing anything like that again.  

As the summer progressed, The Haight was starting to deteriorate with the influx of the crowds and amphetamines. After leaving the flat on Page Street, I stayed in some pretty nasty crash pads that I found through the Haight Ashbury Switchboard. I decided I needed to raise some money so I could get a room somewhere. I sold Berkeley Barbs and Oracles. graphic found on internet These were “underground newspapers” that were popular at the time. The Oracles were "psychedelic" and the Berkeley Barb was more political and was famous for it's sex ads in the back. (At another time I would sell the “Helix” in Seattle, but that’s another time and another story that can be found here:

Underground newspapers were an easy way for me to make a few dollars. I sold the Berkeley Barb in front of the old Emporium that is no longer there, (replaced by San Francisco’s “City Center” mall). I had a loud voice and I would shout out at the top of my lungs, “Berkeley Barb, get your Berkeley Barb right here!...” I think I must have seen someone selling newspapers like that once in a movie or something. It seemed very romantic at the time. graphic found on internet

From selling the newspapers, I made enough money to invest in 12 hits of acid that I planned to sell so that I could get my own room downtown in San Francisco's "Tenderloin." In those days, you could get a sleazy room for $2.00 a night or $10.00 a week.

When I was trying to sell the acid on Market Street downtown, Market street looked nothing then like it does now. The street was completely under demolition and reconstruction to accommodate the new subway that was going in which was going to eventually be what we call BART- Bay Area Rapid Transit. In 1967, it was just a lot of holes in the ground and huge beams stacked high intermittently through the street. It made for great cover if you wanted to dodge someone. In San Diego I had been harassed numerous times by the San Diego Police Department for being a “hippie.” I remember a time when I got stopped twice by two different cop cars within a one block distance. In San Francisco, the police never even looked at me. But if they did, it was pretty easy to just disappear among the piles of debris. It was the most incredible feeling of freedom not to be harassed by police. I was 16 and FREE!!

oraclegraphic found on internetI wasn't selling my acid very quickly. It was late at night on Market Street and mostly speed freaks and insomniacs and street people were wandering among the piles of BART beams. One of the street people, a man, started talking to me and hanging out on the periphery. I think he wanted to get some acid but didn't have the money or something. Then I met a women that was trying to sell her body. She told me that if I helped to find her a trick, she would buy some of my acid. I don't think I had ever met a prostitute before and I had not even had sex with a woman at that time, but here I was, a sixteen year old pimp. At that time, San Francisco was still a navy town and the fleet was in. I was too well mannered to actually be a pimp. I would quietly approach some sailors and politely ask if they were interested in the services of the woman that was nearby. I didn't use any foul anatomical language and the prostitute quickly lost patience with me and would loudly blurt out "you want to buy some pussy, sailor?" My face probably turned red with both shock but I was fascinated, too.

The prostitute approached three Navy boys and offered her wares in graphic detail. Three sailors decided that they would do business with her. The three of them, the prostitute, the guy that had been hanging around on the periphery and I all walked over to a hotel that the prostitute selected. She took the first sailor into the hotel while the rest of us stood around in the night air talking. The sailors bought some of my acid as well so things were good for me. Time went by and then suddenly, here came the prostitute, looking frantic, and saying to me to follow her as she rushed past the sailors, standing there, waiting for their turn and then bewildered as to what had happened to their friend and one dashed into the hotel to find him. The other sailor followed us for some time as we ran through the streets but he couldn't catch us and gave up the chase. Finally he gave up on catching us and went back to join his sailor friends. The prostitute bought some acid and I think she actually gave me some extra dollars and may have given some to the other guy that had just been hanging around. She had waited for the first sailor to fall asleep and then she had robbed him rather than have sex with all three. We dispersed and I never saw any of them again. I LOVED SAN FRANCISCO! 

Sometime during that same "Summer of Love"  I remember being invited by some other young people to a place called Morningstar ranch.            video found on internet I didn't remember exactly where that was other than north of the Golden Gate Bridge but now, when I Google it, I find that it was in Sebastopol.  I knew it was a commune when I visited but did not remember that it was also called "The Digger Farm."

Apparently, according to what I now know from looking it up on the internet, Lou Gottlieb founded Morningstar. He had been a folk singer with the group, The Lamplighters and then was part of the Diggers group that fed us kids in The Panhandle, and opened the Free Store on Cole Street and I believe that they also ran the Haight Ashbury "switchboard" where you could call to find out about crash pads or health care and other information. I remember that Morningstar Ranch was really my first experience with public nudity.  It was a little stressful since I did not feel comfortable taking my own clothes off. Others did walk around naked. I think we stayed there for no more than 24 hours, but it did leave a big impression on me and it wouldn't be long before I would be more comfortable with my own body and nudity with others, too. 

Back in San Francisco, with the money I had made panhandling, pimping and selling acid, I moved to a sleazy $10 a week Tenderloin hotel. Old, weathered black men rolled dice in the doorway and prostitutes, alcoholics and drug addicts lived there. It had an old rickety elevator and the rooms reeked of urine and other bodily fluids. All of this was a pretty exciting for a 16 year old boy. camelothotelThe Camelot Hotel was $10/week in 1967

The Camelot Hotel was what is now called a "Single Room Occupancy" or SRO. There were many of them in San Francisco at one time and still a few are left. I know i stayed in several in those early years. You would get a room with a bed and a dresser and the bathroom was down the hall. You shared a bath or shower with others on your floor. The rooms often wreaked of urine. There would be people yelling and acting crazy all hours of the day and night. Somebody might even come knocking on your door, inebriated, thinking someone else was still living there. 

You could get into the original Fillmore for a couple  bucks that could be easily panhandled in an afternoon. I am pretty sure I saw a few shows at the Fillmore that summer but I think I was always pretty high and don't remember much about who I saw other than Cream. I also remember free concerts in the G.G. park with The Grateful Dead and Big Brother for the funeral of a Hell's Angel named Chocolate George  

I don't remember how the summer came to an end exactly.  I ran into my friend Leslie. from San Diego somewhere in the Haight. San Francisco was like a small town in that way. It was easy to bump into people you knew from other places. Several other friends from San Diego showed up that summer but Leslie was the only one that would stay and establish herself in The City. I remember that when I ran into her, everyone was talking about Rudolph Nuryev, the famous ballet artist being caught in a drug bust.

I often used the Haight Ashbury Switchboard to find places to crash and I think my Mom contacted me through them, begging me to call collect. It had never occurred to me that she would be worried about me. Somehow by the end of the Summer of Love in San Francisco, I returned to San Diego but I'm not sure how I got there. By this time, I had lost track of everyone I had come to The City with from San Diego and I had pretty much just lived on my own. 

 I went back to San Diego to live again with my Mom and George on Lantana street. I think that it was shortly after this that I contacted the Oracle offices in San Francisco and convinced them to send me some Oracles to San Diego. That was probably still about 1967 or possibly 1968 and I would be arrested for the first and only time and that story can be found at:

1967 was a great year for movies, too. This was the year of "The Graduate." Many of us could relate to the main character. 

One movie that came out in 1967 was "I am Curious Yellow." This was a film that had been banned in Massachusetts at the time. It was pretty controversial and so I wanted to see it. I was only 16 at the time, though, so I had to have someone over 18 to take me. My Mom agreed to take me to this movie which turned out to be a little awkward and embarrassing when I realized how sexually graphic it was. It seemed pretty hard core at the time to my naive, innocent eyes, but compared to today's standards, it would probably be considered soft porn. Regardless, it was not the best film for a 16 year old to see with their mother!!! 





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Published in Teens
Thursday, 12 March 2015 06:44

1964- My Beatle Haircut

IMG 2255Me with my Beatle Haircut.


1963-1964- My Beatle Haircut

I like to tell my thirteen year old nephews and nieces about getting kicked out of school when I was 13. I guess that was a proud moment in my life that I like to share. It is also fun because I know it probably puts their parents on edge a little bit. I like to encourage a little subversiveness though from young people. "Question authority," I say. Know that there are exceptions to the rules. Life doesn't have to follow the rulebook. There are many paths. I kind of see getting kicked out of school as my first act of protest... taking a stand... I have to give my Mom a lot of credit. She was a Republican with liberal values. It seems to me that most conservatives are reluctant to question authority. My Mom wasn't though.

In 1963, The Beach Boys became popular with Surfin U.S.A.. I was thirteen and lived in Escondido California. Back then it was mostly orange groves and avocado groves. We had groves all around us when we moved in but by the time we moved out a couple of years later, one grove was already gone and replaced with houses. We had a beautiful four bedroom home. It would probably sell for over a million dollars in today's real estate market. We always called it "the barn house" because one end of it was two stories and shaped like a barn. Roger and I had our bedrooms upstairs and Darlene had her's downstairs at the other end of the house across a short hall where Mom and George's bedroom was. If I remember correctly, I think we had two bathrooms. It was great living in Southern California compared to how we had been living in Spokane prior to my Mom marrying George. Of course, Texas had been a nightmare. 

It was the winter of 1963 that I started wearing my hair in a "surfer" style. This style preceded the Beatle style by just a few months. After the Beatle appearance on Ed Sullivan Feb 9th, 1964, it was just one more easy step to that style. I was already half way there because the surfer style was already a little long in the front. For the last three months of the 7th grade school year at Orange Glen Elementary, I became a Beatle fan. The little girls at school loved my hair but some of the boys teased me and gave me a hard time. 

Escondido was idyllic. It was a short drive to the beach. It was Southern California. It was the era of the "British" invasion. I probably visited my dad in Toppenish Washington some time that summer? I don't remember if I did or not. Sometime that summer I got a drum set and my brother and I started a band called "The Luv Please." We weren't really very good but I think we were probably cute. We did a couple Beatle songs, a few Rolling Stone songs, the Kinks, Gerry and the Pacemakers, and others from England mostly. We also wrote our own songs. 

A couple of weeks before school was to start, I was notified by the school that I could not come to school if I did not get a haircut. I can't remember if we were notified by mail or by phone. I seem to remember we got a letter. I definitely did not want to cut my hair. Being in a band and having longish hair was every teenager's dream. I was getting a lot of attention and having a lot of fun. Girls liked me. That was also the summer when I met Kathy. She was my first serious girlfriend. We went steady for several years from about 13-16. In the end she got married and, although I cried, I ultimately realized I was gay anyway so it really didn't matter.kathyzaddock

I can't remember my Mom ever strongly encouraging me to cut my hair. I think she might have but mostly I remember her being supportive of me and angry that the school was telling me how I could wear my hair. She saw that as an affront to liberties, which is more of a liberal stance than a conservative stance. Conservatives, then as now, were more about saluting and standing erect and being respectful of authority, not questioning it. The school authorities had given a mandate and the conservative thing to have done would be going along with that mandate. The liberal thing to do was to fight it. My Mom chose to support me in fighting for my liberties although she stopped short of going to court which I think was because she was afraid of embarrassing George. I think she was probably much clearer on what the issues were than I was though. She helped me craft a letter to the editor that was probably at least as much her as it was me. We hand delivered it to the editor too. They took my picture. 


I guess it must have been the next day when my fifteen minutes started ticking. It must have been a Sunday too because I know George was taking his five girls, Sandy, Barbie, Carol, Connie and Georgie, back to San Diego. He had loaded them all up in the camper I think and had left to take them home when about thirty minutes went by, they came back, running into the house with a stack of newspapers. I was on the front cover of both the Escondido newspaper and the much bigger San Diego paper. Over the next few days we would learn that the story was carried across the country. I received letters from little girls from all over the country. My "fan" letters! Mom also got some hate mail saying that she should force me to cut my hair and that it was terrible that she was letting me do this. Within a couple of days, a television reporter came out to our house and I was interviewed. It was all very exciting for a thirteen year old boy.beatlehaircut2

A rebel teacher by the name of Mrs. Hard, contacted us and told my Mom that she would like to be my tutor. I think she did want my Mom to pay her something but I think my Mom negotiated and ended up not paying much of anything. I think Mrs Hard would have liked the money but she needed a student more than she needed the money. I don't know exactly what her story was but I think she had been fired from a public school. She was pretty religious and she insisted on reading from the Bible so maybe that was where she ran into trouble with the public school system. She was also very into phonics as the only way to teach reading and I agree with that but I was also already a pretty good reader. She tried to teach me how to play piano but I had no aptitude for it. I walked about three miles to her house every day during the eighth grade and she regularly gave reports to my Mom of my progress. Every day at lunch, she would make me a little lunch of a sandwich and something to drink. I don't know why my Mom didn't make a lunch to send with me.. or maybe she did sometimes... but I do remember eating sandwiches made by Mrs. Hard because they were so different from what I was used to. I can't remember now what she put on them but I do remember them being strange to my taste. I remember Mrs. Hard's husband was kind of a dusty, teetering, mild mannered old man.

A few weeks after I had been kicked out of school, Ronnie Fisher, a neighbor boy and another male friend from Orange Glen Elementary all bought the same turtle neck shirts. I think the point was to make ourselves a "group"- not a musical group or a group with any rhyme or reason. We were just three boys that wanted the same "look." The three of us wore our turtleneck shirts when we took our girlfriends of the time to the movie theater in downtown Escondido.

I can't remember now what movie we saw but the six of us sat together and throughout the movie, somebody was throwing popcorn kernels at us. Kids were disruptive during the movie and management kept kicking these disruptive kids out of the theater. I went out to the lobby to get some candy or something and saw that the kids that were getting kicked out were not leaving. They were amassing outside the theater lobby on the sidewalk. Apparently, they were waiting for our group to exit the theater!

Of course, being the attentions seeking drama queen that I was at the time, it all seemed like fun in some way. I think we loved the attention on the one hand and I think this obscured what judgement we might have had at that age. After the movie ended, we could have just called someone to pick us up and waited in the lobby but we didn't do that. No, we called Ronnie Fisher's father to pick us up as planned and then exited the theater into the rambunctious crowd of other youngsters. We didn't really feel the extent of their hostility until we were outside. There was a lot of pushing and shoving and we tried to get back into the theater but management had locked the doors. Thankfully, nobody actually got punched or harmed but Ronnie's dad was pretty angry when he picked us up and saw the situation.

As I mentioned before, I had a girlfriend for several years, named Kathy. She was a year or two older than me. I met her and her friend, Karen, at the roller skating rink, where I went regularly. I loved roller skating when I was a kid. I don't know if there is anything particularly athletic about it, but I hated competitive team sports that other boys seemed to love and roller skating was something you could do on your own and not have to compete against anyone else. After I had met Kathy, her and Karen came out to the barn house on their horses one day. Kathy's family lived on the other side of Escondido from use, several miles away, and they had a small stable with several horses. Her and Karen were best friends. 

I seemed to get around pretty good back then. Escondido was really not that big of a town- it was probably about three or four miles from our house to Kathy's house. I would go over there pretty often. Her Mom and dad seemed nice enough but I would often go over when they were not at home. Kathy also had some siblings that would threaten to tell on us when they found us making out or doing a lot of heavy petting, sometimes in a bed, under the covers. We didn't actually ever get completely naked, since the siblings were often around, but we did get under the blankets, we might as well have been. We never went "all the way." Eventually, her siblings told on us and then I was banned from coming over when the parents were not at home, although I think we ignored this ban at times. I still considered myself a virgin.

Roger was sexually active at a young age, and when he got together with his male friends, who were all a few years older than I, like most boys, they talked about girls and sex. They would always ask me if I was having sex with Kathy and I would turn red and try to change the subject. I remained a virgin for several more years and it became more and more of a burden. Being a virgin can be a terrible burden when you are a young male. After I was kicked out of school, most of the males that I knew, were musicians from the Luv Please or other bands. Most of the guys I knew were older. When women are not around, much of what guys talk about has to do with having sex with women. It was humiliating that I was not having intercourse with Kathy or other girlfriends later. Looking back on it, I think these girls wanted to have intercourse but something, which I didn't identify as homosexuality at the time, held me back.

Kathy was a great girlfriend for several years though, and eventually, when I was away one summer, she quit waiting for me and got pregnant by another young boy when she was about eighteen. She would go on and eventually have about four kids with him. I would reconnect with her briefly some years later after she had divorced and she had moved to Northern California. I don't think she ever knew that I was gay, though. I looked for her on Facebook after that became popular in the late double oughts but couldn't remember her married name. She would always have a place in my heart. I'm not sure exactly what I would call that place- nostalgia? 

Kathy was the first person that I ever made out with at a drive-in. Her Mom was the one that drove us to the drive-in and was sitting in the front seat and kept an eye on us in the rear-view mirror. We went to see "The Tammy Show" which was the first time that I ever saw James Brown perform. It blew us away when he did his song, "Please, Please, Please," and fell on his knees and then someone come out and throw a cape over his shoulders and helped him up and it looked like they were going to help him offstage and then he fell on his knees again!! It was very exciting! Gerry and the Pacemakers and The Rolling Stones were also headliners in this early concert documentary film but James Brown really stole the show and I think that this performance gave him a much wider audience than what he had previously. 

Kathy got tickets to see The Beatles when they came to San Diego and Karen and I went with her. I don't think she paid over $10.00 for each ticket. She and Karen screamed all the way through the concert as did most of the girls. I wanted to scream too, but had to suppress it of course. Kids were running across the stadium field to get closer to The Beatles, who were performing in the center of the field, and the police were catching them. It was the first, and probably the most exciting concert I ever attended. 

Kathy also got tickets to see Sonny and Cher at the San Diego concourse. Kathy had long "Cher" hair down her back, almost to her waist. I had hair that was about as long as Sonny's was at the time. Kathy sewed and got a pattern for some boy's bell bottoms and some wide wale corduroy material. I got a fur coat and took off the sleeves and turned it into a fur vest. We looked pretty hip by the time we got to the concert. I think we sat in about the 14th row. We had great seats. I think that the musicians might have been hired locally to back up Sonny and Cher as Sonny kept giving them direction as they performed. He seemed to think they were playing too loud or something and maybe drowning out the voices. It was all wonderful to us though. After they left the stage, we ran as fast as we could to try and get to them before they got into their limo so we could get autographs. We ran across the huge lobby of the concourse and I had on leather moccasins and slipped on the floor and went sliding toward the huge wall of glass that was the entrance to the lobby, stopping just inches away from catastrophe. We didn't make it out to the limo but it was all a very exciting night.

































































































































letter1I received letters from across the country- Some supportive- some not.


timesherald2Letter from my Mom to the Escondido Times Herald

Published in Teens


1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
Palouse- Click for story
Grandview- Click for story
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.
Amber- Click to read story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
Women in Oils- Click for story
Me in first grade- Click for story.
Earthquake! Click to read story.
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Where I was born- Click for story.
1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Click to read "Introduction."
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.


01. Introduction

03- Dads Family

03- Photos of my Father and his family

04- My Mother's Family

04- Photos of my Mom

04- Video of my Mom

04- Walling Family Reunions

04-Audio Files of My Mom

04. Billie

04. Ole

04.1. Forbidden Dreams of Love

04.2. Flames of Forbidden Love

04.3 Mom Writing Her Life Story

05- Jim Tarbert

05. Roger

1950's Grandview to Toppenish

1957-1958 1st Grade

1958-1959- Third Grade

1959- Palouse

1961- 4th Grade- Last time I wore a dress

1962- Abilene

1963- Escondido- Early 60's

1964- Darlene Marries Chuck

1964- My Beatle Haircut

1964-The Luv Please

1965 or 1966- Steve Castle

1965- In Foster Care

1966 Living with Darlene & Chuck in Seattle

1967- Juvenile Hall

1976- I Praise Thee (poem to Stanley)

1976- My Second Lover, Stanley Dunne

1976- Paul McCartney and Wings

1976-1330 Bush Street #9J

1977- 1667 Haight Street

1977- Trip to San Diego with Mary Jo

1977-1980- Tumultuous Relationship with John Perry

1978- 525 Haight Street

1979- September- Dad is Murdered

1980's- AIDS- Death and Dying

1980- Winter- First Trip to New York

1980- Word, Sound and Power

1981- Milton- Falling in Love

1982-1993 465 Waller Street

1982-1994 Computers to MacNursing

1984- 33rd Birthday

1985- Graduation from Nursing School

1985- Trip to Hawaii (Oahu)

1988- MIdnight Caller

1989- Earthquake!

1991- Aug 10th- Mom Passes Away

1991- Black Males in Oils

1991- Crack of My Life

1993- Move to Vallejo & Our First Home

1995-1. Road Trip to Washington

1995-2. Surprise Trip to Vegas

1995-3. Grandmother Rogers & Aunts Visit Darlene's

1995-4. Amber

1998- Camping at Russian River

2000 -Thoughts about Progressive Christians

2000- Resignation from John George

2001- April- Trip to Cancun

2001- Peace and Justice

2001- September 11th

2002- April-Puerto Vallarta & Blue Bay Getaway

2002- Nov 12th- My Stepfather, George McHenry Passes Away

2003- Trip to D.C. and N.Y.

2004- Feb- Road Trip to Baha Mexico

2004- Walling Family Reunion in Spokane

2005- Christmas Poem

2005- Darlene Visit for Pride Celebration

2005- Trip to Orlando

2005-1. Europe- London

2005-2. Europe- Paris

2005-3. Europe- Venice

2005-4. Europe- Florence

2005-5. Europe- Rome

2005-6. Europe- Athens

2005-7. Knee Surgery & Tongue Biopsy

2006 Christmas Poem

2006- February 23- Times Herald

2006- Palm Springs White Party

2006- Trip to Seattle

2006-July 8th Solano Peace and Justice Coalition BBQ

2007- Feb- Carnival Destiny- Our First Cruise

2007- Tre and Casey Visit

2008- Aug 15-18 Spokane Visit

2008- Psycho Song

2009- Honored by Vallejo Gay Network

2009- Women in Oils

2010 Christmas Poem

2010- Feb. R.C. Mariner of the Seas Mexican Riviera Cruise

2010- June 24- Badlands

2010- Trip to Seattle

2010-1. Europe- Amsterdam

2010-2. Europe- Paris

2010-3. Europe- Barcelona & Sitges

2010-4. Europe- Madrid

2011-1. Feb. My Fabulous 60th Birthday Weekend

2011-2. April- L.A., Palm Springs & "The White Party"

2011-3. Poem- Girl From Medical Lake

2011-4. Old Man Dancing

2011-5. May- Misty and Alex Visit

2011-6. August- Darlene and Sean's Visit

2011-7. Alex 16-18 & Pics

2012- March- Carnival Splendor Mexican Riviera with Family

2013- Wedding

2014- Christmas Poem

2014- First Gay Cruise

2014- September Road Trip to San Diego

2015- Seasonal Affective Blues

2015- Second Gay Cruise

2015- War on Christmas poem

2015-"Badlands" and Gay Bar Etiquette

2015-September 8. Political History

2015- Liberals vs Conservatives

2016 Do Not Speak for Gay Males

2016- April- Palm Springs RV Adventure

2016- Not Going Along to Get Along

2016- Letter to a Third Party Voter

2016- May- Why I Decided to Vote for Hillary in the California Primary
2016- Trump Dystopia
2016- Which Democrat For President 2020?
2017 Atlantis Events Allure of the Seas cruise

2018 Vallejo Blight

2018- Favorite Folsom Street Fair Photos From Past

1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
Me in first grade- Click for story.
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Women in Oils- Click for story
Where I was born- Click for story.
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
Grandview- Click for story
Palouse- Click for story
My Mother- Click for more photos.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
Earthquake! Click to read story.
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
Click to read "Introduction."
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
Amber- Click to read story.
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.